~thailang/chiang_mai/moving_on

Leaving Chaing Mai tonight on the night traing to Bangkok. I have an air conditioned cabin, with a bed and a hostess service on a 15 hour train journey all for 7 pounds! Gotta love Thailand!

I was hoping to meet Sara in BKK and head south, but i have just found out from her blog she will not be there, instead she has gone to Cambodia today. Nevermind. I have been having a great time alone, i'm sure i'll find plenty to do. I will probably head south, stopping at a cool kayaking camp, and then down to the beaches. I have some friends down there, so i will probably meet them for a day or so.

Plus i went a bit crazy in a book shop here, and bought 6 books (so cheap!), so i have plenty of reading to do!

~thailand/chaing_mai/cooking

As our trekking group bonded so well, we all decided we would attend the Chilli Club Cooking Academy the following day. This is a one day couse that teaches you Thai cooking. I assure you it's true, i actually paid money to cook! Dont get any ideas though Beachy, i will not be cooking for you in Bath!

Cooking was great, and surpisingly tiring. Spent 9 hours, planning our menu, buying ingredients from the market, and cooking them under the guidance of Mr Visuut, the cooking teacher. I tell ya, i would have paid just to watch Mr Visuut. He was incredible! He looks like an skinny asian Lloyd Grossman (or Inder Manocha, for those that know him), and sounds just like Stephen Hawking! No kiddin'! He was so entertaining, every sentence was an adventure. I can do a great impression. Ask me to do it when you see me...

I made hot and sour chicked soup (beautiful), yellow curry and rice (delicious), sweet and sour chicken (lovely), papaya salad (chilli!), spring rolls (perfect) and coconut sticky rice, pinapple and banana (mouth watering). I even managed to make a rose out of a tomato, impressive! I have photos to prove it. Happy days!

In the evening, i got myself a full body oil massage, costing me 3 quid for 1 hour. This was very relaxing, although rather more intimate than i had been expecting. It basically consisted of me lying there in my boxers (which were pulled up very high by the young beautiful thai masseusse to look like a thong!), while she rubbed oil all over me, sometimes putting her hands places where they probably shouldnt have been. I'm sure it is just standard procedure for a full body massage, but it does strike me as odd that in a country where public displays of affection is completely absent and conservative dress is a must, part of people's daily routine involves a sensual and highly intimate massage with someone of the opposite sex. Interesting. Needlesstosay, many hours of discussion resulted that evening, where we all shared our massage experiences. Great fun.

I find out this morning that in some massage parlours (there are millions), a "full body massage" means the masseusse gets naked and uses her 'full body' to massage you! This place is sex mad!

~thailand/chiang_mai/trekking

As announced in a previous post, i spent 3 days on trekking through the jungle north of Chiang Mai. The trek was great fun, for many reasons. Firstly, there were 8 of us trekking (incl. me) plus our guide, and everyone was young, fit, adventurous and generally 'a bit of a laugh'. I wont bore you with the details of their characters, but here are there names with a short summary in brackets: Barbara (teacher, smokes), Charlie (wood engineer, not a carpenter. Smokes), Aloy (Buyer, big, happy), Martine (researcher, also big, slightly less happy), Mathew (writer, funny, creative), Lidya (doctor, beautiful), Arne (doctor, not beautiful, deceptively hard name to pronounce), Bon (guide, short, terrible jokes) and Me (perfect).

Day 1 of the trek started with a couple hours of trekking through the jungle and rice fields, avoiding massive insects, leeches and innocent looking branches and twigs on the ground which kept jumping up and me all day cutting me in the feet and legs. Stupid branches. The days highlight came when we arrived at the elephant camp. It was a small village of a hill tribe called Karin, who used elephants for building, lifting and dragging stuff. They also are used to carry the odd tourist around. The elephants were amazing!! Not like in the stupid zoo, where they are behind bars and there is a sign saying "Do not feed the elephants". These elephants just wandered around the village... they were HUGE! Think of the biggest thing you can think of, and then add 1 onto it..... the elephents were bigger than that! Incredible. Although pretty scared at first, i soon realised they were gentle giants and would do no harm. Especially as i was armed with a hand full of corn on the cob. Feeding the baby was the most entertaining. It just kept running around getting excited by the food (sounds like me).

So we got a ride on the 'phants for a couple of hours. I had the biggest elephant, which would like to stop every other stride and sample the vegetation on the side of the path, and would also fart excessively when walking up hill. I soon worked out that to keep the elephant focussed, i have to make a rather loud grunting sound, which everyone else found amusing. Esp. the Karin people. It worked though, mostly. And when it didnt, i would give the 'phant a kick to the side of the head, and then it would start moving again. I also managed to ride on the elephants neck i.e. with my legs tucked behind its ears. It was great! It might sound cruel, but i was assured the elephants hardly feel it, and considering the locals sit on their heads with their feet resting on the trunk, i didnt feel so bad. They seemed happy... At least they werent used for tourists every day like some villages, these elephants are only used once month or so. Win win!

The day ended with a camp fire, an evening being entertained by the village people (not the Village People, thank God), and some great, although spicy, local Thai nosh.

Day 2 cosisted of a shed load of trekking. Up and down some rather large hills. The hills were humorously graded according to difficultly by Bon as "Baby hills, Mummy hills and Daddy hills". The first hill was a baby hill. I though he was joking, it went on for ages, and was so steep! We were all shattered at the top of it, even the locals had to stop half way for a break. It was incredible, after another few baby hills, a few mummy hills (which nearly killed us all) and thankfully no daddy hill, we arrived at the rafting camp. We spent the evening swimming in the fresh water river, singing songs around a fire, eating beautiful Thai food again, and generally trying to aviod getting bitten by moving things on the floor (there are so many creepy crawly things). Thank God for my sleeping bag being able to fasten all the way to the top!

Day 3 was rafting day. The villages built bamboo rafts for us 5 people on each, and we set off rafting down the river for a couple of hours. It was so mcuh fun, esp. as the thing was barely floating with 5 huge europeans standing on it. The river was low, so in the white water bits, there were plenty of huge rocks showing their teeth, trying to take a piece of the raft (and often succeeding). With me steering on front with a big pieve of bamboo, and Aloy on back, we managed on 3 full speed head on collisions with rocks, only 3 people fell into the water, a mere 2 people fell THROUGH the raft, and only managed to destroy the right hand side of the raft. Pretty good going i'd say.

The finised off with a very cool swim in a massive waterfall. Getting massaged by the powerful current, and poor Mathew almost dying by tring to swim into the really fast, man eating bit!
What a great 3 days. It was laugh a minute, and the jungle was beautiful. Managed to see hundreds of species of spiders, mosquitos, beetles, cockroaches, snakes, monkeys etc etc. Just a great experience.

~thailand/chiang_mai/bruises/boxing

Had my first 4 hour session of Thai boxing today - man i am so tired!! We started the session with a casual 3k run.... in 35 degree heat, up a big hill! I managed 2k fine, but then died with the heat. I actually died, they had to call the paramedics and everything. Luckily, or unluckily, i survived to face 3 hours of pad work, skipping, sit ups, press ups, pull ups and light sparring (which, as it always does, turned 0ut to be not so light). I came away limping, but only because i was bxing bare feet, and managed somehow to cut my small toe on the mats. This, added to the large cut i sustained yesterday on the big toe of my same foot whist failed to navigate a harmless looking 6 inch step in a restaurant. I am working through each toe, one by one...

In my hotel in Udon Thani, i casually strolled into the restaurant (very posh place), where a chappy was playing live music. I had ordered my food for room service, and on my way out i thought i would be cool and give the singer a cool, James Bond style nod of approval at his rendition of Frank Sinatra classics. In doing so, i managed to trip on the stage (which in my defence, was poorly lit) and fall flat on my face in front of all the restaurant. Can you imagine me, lying there face down on the stage, like a penguin getting a sun tan, whilst all the people sniggered and smiled? I can!

The worrying thing was, i was not at all embaressed. I have no idea why. I picked myself up, completed my approving nod to the singer, and just kept on walking to the door... so glad i ordered for room service, and didnt have to sit in the restaurant after that incident. My legs are now covered in cuts and bruises.... Sara i need you and your first aid kit!!! How could you leave me in my time of need??

Spent the evening with a irish marketing manager named Sean, a australian restaurant owner named Mark, a mexican drummer named Bear and a thai play station playing dude named Tom, who didnt speak a word of english, but instead just beat us one by one at table tennis and pool all evening..... What a glorious day!

~thailand/chiang_mai/boxing

Woke up mega early this morning, and after having breakfast of weetabix, bananas and washed down with a banana smoothie, i headed up to the Lanna Muay Thai boxing club (mentioned in my last post). It was pretty sweet. Lots of very big men, most of which were english for some unknown reason, walking around generally looking big and mean.

I had missed the morning session (starts at 6:30AM), so i am going now for the afternoon session. I have dont boxing before, so it shouldnt be too hard to pick up the Thai bit of it (i.e. the kicking). Although i am doubting my fitness levels, as its been a few weeks since i have done anything really strenuous.... we shall see how it goes.

Other than that today, i have been wandering round town, looking at beautiful Buddhist temples, cotching in cafes drinking smoothies and watching olympics, beating (and getting beat by) the locals at pool, and having a nice afternoon siesta.

I went to speak to a guy named Bon. He runs a 3 or 4 day trek through the jungle north of Chiang Mai. Sara went with him on a 4 day trek a few weeks back, and she raved about it so much, that i had to check it out. It sounds pretty sweet, cannot wait... Will give all the details when i get back. I set off tomorrow morning early, so no posts for a few days. I will have to resume my Boxing training when i get back... :(

Having said that, my tour guide Bon has been thai boxing for over 20 years! He says he will teach me while i am on the trek... Fabulous!

It appears there are slightly more internet cafes where i am compared to Sara, going by her distinct lack of posts on sarasia.blogspot.com. Either that, or she is just having so much fun, she has no time to stop! After all, i am still new at this 'travelling alone' thing... Doing well so far, met some cool people. A bit nervous about the boxing in 15 mins, but the trek should be great. Til next time folks...

~thailand/chiang_mai/arrivals

Internet cafe is closing, so this will be quick. I took a series of very very long bus journeys, crossing the border into Thailand, and after a night in the crappy Udon Thani, i have finally arrived into Chiang Mai. This place is reputidly a very cool place. I am thoroughly looking forward to my stay here.

I have been reading, and talking to strange hippy tuk tuk drivers, who cover their tuk tuks with blue neon lights, go faster stripes and painted flames! Among many other things, i am going to start my Muay Thai boxing training tomorrow. It is $4 per day, and is run out of a very prestigious boxing school called Lanna Muay Thai boxing. See lannamuaythai.com for details. I figure that after a couple days hard training, get myself bashed and bruised, and hopefully bashing and bruising many others, i will undertake in a 4 day trek into the jungle. Involving living with untouched hill-tribal villages, rides on elephants and white water rafting (primitive style i.e. rafts are made of a row of sticks tied with rope. I'm gonna die, i'm sure of it!

I could be here for a while, its a buzzing place, rich with culture and 1 too many farangs (tourists) for my liking!. However, sickeningly cheap, i might even venture into the markets and go present hunting. But dont be surprised if i get you something that you will dispise, because i am very good at doing that... Reports from boxing class tomorrow.

Love to Sara. Hope you are getting on well without me... i cant believe i am missing hammock island! That is like my dream! :)

Funny story. Had a Laos massage in Laos (funnily enough), by this chap who we got chatting to afterwards. He spoke good english and talked to me about football. Turns out he supports manchester united, and he was soooo happy to hear that i supported them too. He was over the moon, and green with envy to hear that i had actually been to Old Trafford. And you can only imagine his face when i tell him that i was born in Machester*.... his mouth literally dropped, and i quote "that is my dream"... lovely guy. Good luck Mr Unamed Massage Guy Man!

Beachy: Tell big Dave that i met a canadian guy whose parents own the only hotel in Kicking Horse, the one Dave goes to. He was staying at my guesthouse, invited me over to Canada, but unfortunately didnt get his contact address. Small world huh?

*actually Greater Manchester. Didnt tell him that though.

~laos/vientiane/departing/sara

Sara and i have had a fall out, and when i woke up in the morning i find her bags are gone, and more worryingly, she is gone. I see from her blog that she has fled to Cambodia to get away from me. I would like to say this is the first time a woman has fled the country to get away from my, but that would be a lie.

Nah, only joking. We made the decision, somehow, that we would spend a week or more apart, seeing different parts of South East Asia, and then would reunite in the south of Thailand for some long awaited beach action. She is exploring southern Laos, and then into Cambodia to see the famous Ankgor Wat temples. I on the other hand chose to explore northern Thailand, and then trickle my way down to the south, stopping at whichever town i want to, just because i can.

I am young and i am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! At least for 10 days untill Sara returns. This is the first time i have travelled alone, so it will be interesting to see how things get on. Sad to see Sara go, we were having a lot of fun, but just felt 10 days doing our own thing would be a good experience, and that we could cover twice as many destinations in the time we have. Will be fun to compare photos when we get back...

So, read on my loyal fans for life in the fast lane! WOOO HOOO, ROCK ON! I'm livin' the dream now...

(Got to say, Sara was kinda holding me back... like a wet blanket over a flame.)

(Only kidding Sara! Dont be mad! Hope you're having fun..... just slightly less fun than me)

~laos/vientiane/highlights

Again my blog-loving friends, i find myself in the unfortunate position of having lots to tell, no time to tell it in, and even less energy to write it (would there have been enough time!). So my friends, i will have to give you only the highlights of the past few days.

Lets start in Vientiane, shall we? Yes? Gooooooooood. Sara and i spent two days in Vientiane, the capital of Laos (Remember now, its pronounced "Lao", not "Laos" or "Lice" and certainly not "Linkerhoffenberg"!). Sad to say, Vientiane sucks ass (and not in a good way!). It is a series of dusty streets, hugging an uncharacteristically ugly stretch of the Mekong River. The place smells of faeces at the best of times, and when you innocently order boiled eggs at midnight becuase you are hungry, you get served unhatched dead baby chicks!

Needlesstosay, Sara and I had a wonderful time in each other's company. Good job really, coz the town was providing little entertainment. Having said that, we did manage to keep ourselves busy. I shall explain:

1. On the first day we were rather entertained by the 1 hour trek accross the city, led by myself, in search of a restaurant called Xang, advertised by the Lonely Planet as a 'hip and happening' place to eat (yeah right, i'll be the judge of that!). For some reason, i left my map reading skills at home, and managed to make a series of school boy errors that landed us outside of the city boundaries. Doh! Now, if i was Sara, i would have been mildly upset by this point, esp. as it was 35 degrees and more humid than a humid place in humid season that is very very humid! But quite the opposite, she was so happy. Well.... at least that is how i choose to interpret her ignoring me, and stomping around the street yelling "STEVE!! I'm hungry!! Why did you take me here! ARGHHHH!!!"

2. We left our guesthouse, and ummed and ahhed at the prospect of going to see a display of tradiitional Laos dance at the Laos National Theatre accross the street (it sounds grand, but actually looks very similar to a very small school dinner hall). Having not done much that day, we decided it would be a good idea, and what a good idea it was! It was great fun. The audience was all of 3 people strong (sadly that astronomical number included me and Sara), but the performance was wonderful. Thoroughly enjoyed watching the beatuiful Laos ladies (and they are ALL beautiful) and beautiful Laos boys (unfortunately, the boys were also beautiful. Most of which wore full make up, long painted finger nails, and wouldnt stop staring at me all through the performance) (i loved the attention really). Highlight of the performance was at the end when the audience were asked to get on stage and 'try Laos dance', wicked! I basically just jiggled my hips, let my wrists go limp, and waved my arms around like i was guiding a plane into landing. Oh, and i kept on trying to dance with the short cute one, but every time i turned round, the tall freaky looking guy kept pulling me back! Nevermind, that was my chance at getting Laos residency over... :(

3. Went to see Buddha park. Nothing to say here really, other than it was a big park full of Buddha statues. What can i say? I could say the statues were paraded around by juggling elephants, but that would be a lie. And my mother said never tell a lie, unless insurance companies are involved. Right mum?

Among other things, that is about it for Vientiane. Read next post for sad news... genuinely.

~laos/sam_nueu/stuff

Running out of puff, 6 blogs in 1 hour! So spent the past 2 days in the sleepy, but beautiful town of Sam Nueu. Hardly any tourists, and wonderful food made for a relaxing few days. We splashed out on a $5 a night guesthouse and made full use of the hot showers and cool rooms. (luxuries seldom found elsewhere in Laos).

We met another Aussie named Locky (that's how i choose to spell it). He was 'mega cool' - been riding a bike accross Cambodia, China, Laos, Vietnam, Thailand and soon Tibet... He is planning on an illegal border crossing, after reading some travellers who had done it before. He has notes about which trees are best to hide behind, what time the security guard normally sleeps, and most importantly, a list of the penalties if he gets caught! Good look Locky, let me know how you get on!

Lots of cool stuff happened in Sam Nueu, but wont go into it. Bottom line is, we are happy and having a great time. We are now in Vientiane (the capital of Laos), after another rather eventful (but perfectly safe) 18 hour bus journey! We are planning on making our way south, then into Cambodia, and then to Thailand. We may even split up for a week or so, as i am being slowly convinced that travelling alone is an experience worth doing. We shall see...

Hope all are well. Just realised these past few posts were more informative than entertaining, apologies for that. Will post again soon... A funny one, i promise. Easy now, s.

NOTE: Oh, in case you were interested. Sara' s blog can be found at http://sarasia.blogspot.com read there if you want her version of the events (they may well differ).
NOTE2: Thanks for all the comments, i read them all, but no time to reply unfortunately. Keep 'em coming, coz they keep me going.

~laos/phonsavan/falls

Sara, Nic, Paul, Samantha and I spend the day doing a tour in Phonsavan. The tour consists of visiting a typical Lao village, seeing a waterfall, and seeing the Plain of Jars (will explain later).

The village and the Jars were pretty boring. No need to explain. The water falls were something special! The five of us were getting along great, laugh a minute! :) We dressed to go see a waterfall. LIttle did we know, that to get to the waterfall and back involved an intense 5 hour trek through the mountainous jungle in terrential rain! Seriously! The pics should be incredible...

The best experience yet. It rained so hard, and our guide didnt seem to know the way often, so we would occaisionally build new paths though the dense dense jungle with our hands, climbing up steep hills, battling the rain, and avoiding large bugs where possible. It was just fab, despite none of us being suitably dressed. When we reached the base of the fall, our guide informs us that the way back to the van was up the waterfall. So we literally climbed up this fast rushing waterfall for hours, it was massive, so many levels. There were times when rock climbing was necessary, careful balancing acts of slippery trees, and sturdy legs in fast flowing water... just brilliant, everyone got through safely... and between us only suffered 2 leach bites. (both on my legs!)

~laos/phonsavan/bombs

A little background of Laos, if you dont already know. From 1964 to 1973, America engaged in a 'Secret War' with Laos. After signing an agreement stating that they explicitly would not get involved in 'ridding the world of evil communists' in Laos, they decide to bomb the crap out of it, whist all the time denying that they ever dropped a single bomb in Laos. (this was all during the Vietnam war. Laos borders Vietnam). The US conducted 580,344 missions over Laos dropping 2 million tonnes of bombs!!! Laos is tiny, check the map. Lao people are lovely people. They live simple lives, mainly farmers. Most live in tiny villages in huts made of bamboo and wood, and because they had a communist government, the US decide to kill everyone!

The guesthouse in Phonsavan showed a BBC documentary on Laos and the bombing called "Bombies". It is pretty horific. All around Northern laos, you can see remnants of US fighter jets, bomb shell casing, US fuel tankers... all engraved with the United States. Villagers build huts with the bomb shells, use them as bbqs for cooking, melt down the metal and make cuttlery, its crazy! But the worst thing about it all is the type of bomb that the US used. They used a newly developed 'cluster bomb', desigened for the single purpose - to kill many people over a large area. A cluster bomb consists of 500 tennis ball sized 'bombies', each containing 350 ball bearings, some gun powder and a fuse. When dropped from a plane, they scatter all over the land and explode, killing only civilians... the bigger bombs were used to destroy towns/buildings.

Tragically, 30% of the bombies did not explode, leaving millions of mines lying all over the countryside. The smallest movement sets them off. For the last 20 years, Lao people have been forced to harvest fields littered with mines, suffering deaths and limb loss on a weekly basis. Because the bombies are coloured yellow, many children die picking them up thinking they are fruit, or a ball to play with.

The saddest thing for me, is watching school children singing songs that go something like this "If we see a bombie, we must run and get help, we must never pick it up, otherwise we will die, because America bombed our country etc etc etc". Kids should not have to sit in school and sing about bombs, they should be singing about happy stuff... no?

~laos/phonsavan/lost

Arrived in Phonsavan with our new Ozzy mates Nic (pro rider), Samantha and Paul (pro drinkers). We decide that this town is poo, and the sooner we get to Sam Nueu in the north, then better. So we decide to get the 6am bus the next day (Lao people do everything in the morning).

So on our way back to our guest house from the restaurant at 9:30pm, we suddenly realise we are lost. LOST! Lost in a one street town!! We were too busy chatting on our way into town than we had completely lost our bearings. We walked up and down this single street for 90mins! We kept asking locals if they knew where we were staying, but they didnt speak a work of english, and the cap it all off, we didnt even bother to catch the name of our guesthouse! So we were completely stumped...

There was a guest house called Kong Keo in the lonely planet, and for some reason we were sure, SURE, that we werent NOT staying there.... dont ask me why, but we were adament. So whenever the locals would point us to Kong Keo, we would say "No, we are not staying there, but somewhere just like it!" And would you believe it? We were indeed staying at the Kong Keo! DOH! By the time we got to the room, it was 11:30pm, and far too late to get enough sleep for the 6am bus, so we decide in a midnight conversation, whilst tucked away in bed, to stay in Phonsavan for one day, and see the sights with the Ozzies... (the best decision we has made to date)

~laos/transit/phonsavan/

Ok, there is far too much that has happened in the past week to get down in this blog, so i will just do my best to get the highlights in as best as possible. So we leave the beauty of a town Luang Prabang by bus, heading for the North East of Laos. The journey was long, and would require a night spent in a crappy little town called Phonsavan (which later turned out to be not so crappy - as you will see). It started off badly when we saw the bus - this rickety old excuse for a bus! Air conditioning consisted of 4 large fans fixed to the ceiling, positioned dangerously close to our heads... luckily all the wires were loose, and none of them worked! The journey took about 10 hours, and was a bit of a nightmare. Apart from the 'sore bum syndrome', 'bus sleeping paradox' and general 'bumpage up and downage', there was a rather worrying moment towards the end of the journey. Here's the low down:

The lonely planet explains how in the north east of Laos, particulary on Route 13 there have been a series of 'bus attacks', where bandits hijack buses and essentially shoot everyone. Although very rare, this is a bit of a worry! As soon as we get on the bus, we see a man with a machine gun sitting casually in the middle of the bus. I have never really been close to a real gun before, and naturally i felt quite uneasy. But he seemed to be happy, so i soon forgot about
him and got into my book. (A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius - Thanks Keith!). So, towards the end of the journey, the bus was stopped and two men step on in military gear, carrying machine guns also. The fact that they wore military gear meant nothing, as everyone seems to wear it.

Again i started to worry, and i could see fear in the faces of all the other tourists on the bus (about 3 others from Australia we later became friends with). But nothing worried me more than when one of the guys sat next to me. He placed his gun between his legs facing the ceiling. He was quiet, and kept nudging me, kicking me, and signalling and whispering to the other machine gun man! Scarey! I dared not look at him, but was happy the gun was pointing at the ceiling.

So, curious, after about 10 minutes, i decide to take a look at the gun. To my horror, as i turn round, i see the barrel of the gun is not pointed at the ceiling at all, but instead is rested on his leg and pointed directly at my head!!!! I've never felt so worried in my life! I'm afraid to say it was 'trouser changing time' for me! If i was sure the safetly was on, and the bus was smooth, then maybe i wouldnt have said anything. But Lao people are rather careless, and the bus was
incredibly bumpy, and although unlikely, then gun could go off at anytime!! So i asked the guy to move the gun, as politely as i could, and he just laughed, and thankfully moved it.. but not before showing me the magazine full of bullets! Thanks!! Panic over, they get off at the next stop, no attacks today. :)

But seriously, there is no real need to worry. These attacks are supposed to be political by nature, and so foreigners are never targetted. The attacks also only happen on buses, and since then we have been travelling on Route 13 on coaches only. More expensive, a little more comfortable and much safer.

~laos/general/apology

Hey everyone! I am back, after several days on the road. As Sara and i expected, you would all be freaking out (especially the mothers) about our apparent absence from the blog. We are perfectly safe, just happened to be staying in places where there was no access to internet.
Apologies for any worry caused. So much has happened, as you will read in the following few posts. Enjoy!

~laos/luang_prabang/blood

Forgot to mention: On the way back from the falls, i look down at my legs and spie with my little eye, a river of blood running from my inner right thigh!!!!! A river i tellz ya!! I freaked out... we went to the hospital, and the doc said i have to get my leg amputated... i said NO! Ok ok, it was not a river, it was more like a tributory of blood, and we didnt go to the hospital, and my leg is still attached. Turned out to be a leach (of the blood sucking variety)... i must have lost about 40 pints of blood, then leach was the size of me by the time it had finished! So i said to the leach "Hey you", and he said "What", i said "you sucking my blood?", he said "Yup, what you gonna do about it?", so i got mad, and went crazy, started tearing up this joint, smashing windows, the lot! Even went to prison for a bit. So then me and leach fought to the death, and i died because i ran out of blood...

OK OK!! It was a lie, there was no leach!!!!! Alright? Just the hole where the leach was. And i put a plaster on it, and everyone was happy. :)

~laos/luang_prabang/falls/water

Third day in Laos. Today we woke up at 8am! Crazy, that is actually earlier than i get up for work! And still i have not had a full night's sleep. Sara and I caught breakfast (not literally) from the old couple who own the guest house. It consisted of baguette, butter and jam. Simple, but satisfying. (Story of my life.) We also caught a tuk tuk (again not literally) to the Khaung Si waterfall, THE attraction of Luang Prabang. We wanted to arrive early, because rumour has it that by lunch time the place is overrun by tourists and locals.

We arrived after about 20minutes drive on bumpy roads in the hills on an overcast and cold day to be met by the most spectacular waterfall (or more accurately, waterfalls) i have ever seen. The thing was huge, and as it rained heavily overnight, i think it was even more spectacular than usual. As anticipated, we were pretty much the firsts people to arrive. We brought our swimming stuff hoping to take a dip in the crystal clear pools at the base of the falls, but decided it was far too cold for any of that... a few photos later, we decided to climb up the rather steep series of a make shift steps to the top of the falls. Takes a good 10 minutes, and risk of slippage, and eatage of spiderage is high. Great!

Reached to top to find a series of deeps pools enclosed in the forest. The pools were precariously perched at the top of the falls, and the current was understandably strong. One slip and we would be over the edge... there was a unconvincing excuse for a barrier in place which i was not about to trust. I guess the drop from there would be about 100 ft, maybe more. Because the pools at the top were sheltered by the trees, it felt a bit warmer, so we decided to take a plunge. Avoiding the numerous spider's webs, and little things swimming on the surface, we went in. It was great! The water was so nice... After the climb down, and many slips later (well, actually, Sara would slip, and i would catch her) we met up with other Farangs (tourists) that we knew, and then took a swim in the ragin currents at the base of the falls. It was good fun for about 10 minutes, then we decided that 'too many farangs spoil the pool', and we left.

We've just eaten lunch now, watched some olympic swimming with Lao commentry, as you do, and then the rain started to come down. It has just stopped now, but i dont suppose it'll be long before it starts again. Being monsoon season, this is quite normal, although more common in Thailand actually.

Tomorrow morning we are planning on seeing some temples, watching monks pick fruit, and taking a bus outta this town and head north east to the Hua Phan province. The Lonely Planet (nicknamed by Sara 'The Lying Planet' because she is convinced that it tells lies!) tells us there is lots of magical stuff to see there, i'll save the details for when i get there, but i will tell you there is a snake pit somewhere where they throw live animals and dead people! Sweet, Indiana Jones styleeeee! Til' next time folks....

~laos/luang_prabang/sore/bum

Ok, second day in Laos. (pronounced "Lao" btw, the French named it incorrectly when they nationalised it way back). (and definately not pronounced "Lice", mum!). Last night at our guesthouse was not great. There was a power cut in the middle of the night, and our ceiling fans turned off, which is bad news in this heat. Also meant that there was only cold water for the shower. We were woken up, not only by the heat, but by the silversmith directly under our hotel at 6am. From 6am for hours there was constant banging of something hard against something else hard! Not just one set of banging, but 3 completely independant sets of banging, all different pitches! The result was something resembling a very amateur production of Stomp...

So we decided that our $7 (or 4 hundred million billion Laos Kip) a night each was not well spent, so we found another place for $1 a night each! Bargain! Although much lower standard, it is overlooking the Mekong river, and we get free bananas as part of the service! Rock on! Living the dream! :)

Sara and I also rented out bicycles today for $1 each. We were sick of the foreigners, lovely as they are, and most seemingly from Israel (???), we rode off out of Luang Prabang for as far as our legs could take us. In the heat, we sweated more than a fat, hairy Persian exercising in the sun!! Oh wait, that is me!! Haha.... Sara somehow managed to get the good bike, i.e. the one that had a seat that didnt bruise your sensitive bits, pedals that were bent at an angle, and handles that didnt dig into your hands!

We had dinner with a family who were selling noddles on the side of the road out of the main town area. We had second servings, and Sara bravely tried the desert, and all coming to a total cost of about 30 pence! Again, living the dream!

Lao people are so lovely and hospitable, not only because they want your money, but because they are just nice people. Everyone says hello to you as you pass...... normally followed by the words "suki suki, fie dolla", but still, they are lovely!
(from a South Park episode, sorry)

So now we are "blogging", which seems to be an integral part of our days. When Sara utters the words "Steve. We need to blog", i know it is my job to get her to an internet terminal quick or smoke starts coming out of her ears and people die! Only kidding, we are having a great time...

Tomorrows plan: to get up early, get a tuk tuk to the waterfalls, and swim and bathe until our fingers go all wrinkly... cannot wait! (Taking tonnes of photos, onto my second film already. Wish i could upload them, but i guess you'll have to wait til i get back to see them all). As saturday draws to a close, this is Mr Bellamy, signing out. Ciao!

~laos/luang_prabang/arrivals/sara

Sara is here! I met her yesterday. She was arriving by ferry, which when it arrived turned out to be nothing more than a glorified canoe with about 50 tourists crammed into it. She had been traveling on that thing for 2 days, crazy! She vows never to do it again though... dont blame her.

So i waited at the port in the immense heat and humidity for about 2 hours for her to arrive. I was so relieved to see her, i had spent the whole day on my own in Laos, and wasnt completely sure she would turn up. We hadnt really arranged a meeting point or time, so i just guessed when and where she would be arriving. (I'm a badass invincible rendezvous guessing mo fo!)

Anyway, so the yesterday was spent organising hotels and stuff, trying not to sweat profusely all the time, dodging cockroaches and contributing to the local economy by purchasing one of everything on the night markets... which suffered a power cut and was candle lit! Fantastic!

It is so so hot here, and 100% humidity, which makes putting your socks on an arduous task! But our guesthouse last night was overlooking the Mekong river, which is (like everything else in Laos) stunning. All the locals drive around in Tuk Tuks and motorbikes. You even find very small children operating motorcycles, it seems it is the only cool way to travel. Only a few have cars.

The town of Luang Prabang (where i am staying) is littered with Buddhist temples. It seems every corner has one, and not a minute goes by without you seeing a gaggle of monks walking in bright orange robes and matching orange shoulder bags and matching orange umbrellas to keep off the heat.

Sara and I have been discussing what our plans are, and we are not completely decided at all, but we do share a common gripe about Luang Prabang. That is there are too many bl**dy foreigners! There are only about 50 in the whole town, but the town is so small that you bump into people you know all the time. So we are planning to get out of the town and into the countryside.. possibly to see some temples, Buddhist caves, take a boat on the river or go swimming in one of the many spectacular waterfalls nearby. Time shall only tell how we spend the next few days...

~thailand/bangkok/no_mates/

So i arrived in Bangkok all by myself, after many failed attempts to try and make english speaking contacts on the plane. I was met at the airport by someone who got me a taxi and a very nice hotel for the night. Although cheap, i'm sure they added a few Baht extra to the price. I was in no mood to haggle though, i slept about 2 hours in the last 36 hours.. i just wanted food and sleep (no change there!).
Initial impressions on Bangkok were that it was busy! Tonnes of motorbike taxis, tuk tuks and cars... And the streets are covered with dogs! All lying on their backs drained with the heat and himidity. They look like they are dead, but every so often they blink at me as if saying "kill me now". Well, at least that's how i interpretted it!

Some people spoke broken english, so communication wasnt so bad. When i got to my air conditioned hotel, i decided in my only night in Bangkok (before my flight to Laos the next day), i would not spend it sleeping, i would at least try and make contact with some Thais. So i went out to the local food market (now 9pm), and endeavoured to get myself some grub. Everyone stared at me, as i was dressed in white, and about 2 feet taller than anyone else, but people were ver friendly. I was feeling quite intimidated at first, being alone, but then as soon as i bit the bullet and asked for some food, i felt much better. I casually pointed to a pile of food at a market stall and uttered the words "give me noodles and stuff". To my delight, they understood, and cooked me a wonderful noodle thingy. I made the mistake of asking it for take away, coz they them proceeded to put all the different foods into bags and tied them up like fish from the fish shop. Got back to the hotel and realised i had no cuttlery, so somehow managed to scoop all the piping hot noodles and sauces into my mouth with my fingers. After washing it all down with a Blueberry Yop and watching an hour of Thai Fame Academy on tv, i went to bed.

Got a phone call in the night from my good friend Tory, which was nice. Chatted for a bit, half asleep, and then went back to bed. Probably cost me a fortune to recieve the call, but at 2am, i wasnt thinking straight!

The following day, i left for Laos. Caught the flight fine. Flew with Bangkok airways, and it was slightly less luxurious than Emirates. The plane had propellers for starters... but smooth flight none the less. I am in Laos now, waiting for my dear friend Sara to join me. She should be arriving by ferry in a few minutes. I should go now. Just a quick word about Laos, it is beautiful!! Never seen so much nature in one place, palm trees everywhere, rivers, mountains... just fantastic. This is 1million times better than Bangkok... i will save the details for my next post. I will go meet sara now...

~transit/emirates/

Ok, my first real post.

I left london on 11th August 2004 from Heathrow. Flew a long long way via Dubai to Bangkok. I flew with Emirates. Just a quick note about them: They were close to the cheapest airline i could find, and yet they are without a doubt the most luxurious and hospitable airlines i have ever flown in! Yes, better then BA! I was in economy on a 747, and i had a personal TV/Radio, tonnes of leg room, and even a games machine. I wanted to sleep, but kept playing all the addictive games. I ended up spening hours playing this trivia game. You play against all the other passengers realtime. There is a leader board, and you get 20 quick fire Trivial Pursuit type questions.
It was great, you can see the other competitors seat numbers, and stuff. You can stand up and see who are the stupid ones and who are the brain boxes... well i was determined to win on of the rounds... and it took me many tries, but just as we were landing into Bangkok, i answered 15 correct answers out of 20 in record time to come from behind and beat 20 other passengers... what a glorious moment! I would have done a lap of honour around the plane, but the hostesses had the food trolleys in the aisles :(
Nevermind, a big moment for me. The trip had got off to a winning start. Although i still had no friends, i was still a winner!

~mrbellamy/blog/caveat/

Hello all.

Ok, first of all i must apologise for even having this blog in the first place. Second of all i must apologise for writing posts. Third of all i must apologise for using this blog as a way of communicating my travels to all you back home. It appears that i am a geek at heart, and if i had known i would be blogging when i was out here, i would have probably written one myself instead of using Blogger. Oh well, that's me.

News about my travels to come. Two things to note about my blogs. As i am a pretty fast typer (i.e. all my fingers are in the right position and i need not look at the keyboard when i'm stroking the keys), my posts will have the two characteristics of being a) long and b) unnecessarily wordy. With these two caveat in place, please enjoy reading the news of my travels as they unfold.

Lots of love, Steve.