~laos/vientiane/highlights

Again my blog-loving friends, i find myself in the unfortunate position of having lots to tell, no time to tell it in, and even less energy to write it (would there have been enough time!). So my friends, i will have to give you only the highlights of the past few days.

Lets start in Vientiane, shall we? Yes? Gooooooooood. Sara and i spent two days in Vientiane, the capital of Laos (Remember now, its pronounced "Lao", not "Laos" or "Lice" and certainly not "Linkerhoffenberg"!). Sad to say, Vientiane sucks ass (and not in a good way!). It is a series of dusty streets, hugging an uncharacteristically ugly stretch of the Mekong River. The place smells of faeces at the best of times, and when you innocently order boiled eggs at midnight becuase you are hungry, you get served unhatched dead baby chicks!

Needlesstosay, Sara and I had a wonderful time in each other's company. Good job really, coz the town was providing little entertainment. Having said that, we did manage to keep ourselves busy. I shall explain:

1. On the first day we were rather entertained by the 1 hour trek accross the city, led by myself, in search of a restaurant called Xang, advertised by the Lonely Planet as a 'hip and happening' place to eat (yeah right, i'll be the judge of that!). For some reason, i left my map reading skills at home, and managed to make a series of school boy errors that landed us outside of the city boundaries. Doh! Now, if i was Sara, i would have been mildly upset by this point, esp. as it was 35 degrees and more humid than a humid place in humid season that is very very humid! But quite the opposite, she was so happy. Well.... at least that is how i choose to interpret her ignoring me, and stomping around the street yelling "STEVE!! I'm hungry!! Why did you take me here! ARGHHHH!!!"

2. We left our guesthouse, and ummed and ahhed at the prospect of going to see a display of tradiitional Laos dance at the Laos National Theatre accross the street (it sounds grand, but actually looks very similar to a very small school dinner hall). Having not done much that day, we decided it would be a good idea, and what a good idea it was! It was great fun. The audience was all of 3 people strong (sadly that astronomical number included me and Sara), but the performance was wonderful. Thoroughly enjoyed watching the beatuiful Laos ladies (and they are ALL beautiful) and beautiful Laos boys (unfortunately, the boys were also beautiful. Most of which wore full make up, long painted finger nails, and wouldnt stop staring at me all through the performance) (i loved the attention really). Highlight of the performance was at the end when the audience were asked to get on stage and 'try Laos dance', wicked! I basically just jiggled my hips, let my wrists go limp, and waved my arms around like i was guiding a plane into landing. Oh, and i kept on trying to dance with the short cute one, but every time i turned round, the tall freaky looking guy kept pulling me back! Nevermind, that was my chance at getting Laos residency over... :(

3. Went to see Buddha park. Nothing to say here really, other than it was a big park full of Buddha statues. What can i say? I could say the statues were paraded around by juggling elephants, but that would be a lie. And my mother said never tell a lie, unless insurance companies are involved. Right mum?

Among other things, that is about it for Vientiane. Read next post for sad news... genuinely.