mrbellamy travels

~thailand/koh_tao/paradive*

2004-09-14T04:50:00.000-07:00

*just in case you dont get the rather clever title here (if i do say so myself), it is a combination of the words 'paradise' and 'dive', and not the other perfectly logical interpretation of the word as meaning diving for the physically disabled.

Today was the first time Steve had ever been diving. He was mildly nervous, with a hint of excitment, a pinch of apprehension, a dash of carisma, a blob of handsome and a lashing of wit. The Man Formally Known As Steve (sometimes TMFKAS for short) strode in the Big Bubble dive centre, ouzing a false confidence, just in time to meet his dive master for the day - a German but pleasant chap named Andy. After fitting Steve into the largest equipment money could buy, he ventured onto the boat for his big adventure at sea.

Koh Tao is the no.1 dive spot in the whole of Asia, and possibly the world. After making several funny, but deeply touching and thought provoking jokes to fellow divers, Steve makes his way onto the boat to be trasported to the dive site. Steve and good friend Tory aquint themselves with Andy, and go through some basic dive skills before the big moment. Steve couldnt wait, but smartly resisted the ever strong urge to jump up in the air and run around the boat like a headless chicken screaming at the top of his voice "For the love of Britney, i'm going diving". Instead he leant back, cleverly and subtly hidding the rolls of fat on his stomach, and instead revealing an unfortunately very well hidden six pack.

Arriving at the dive site, Steve tanks up, and jumps in the crystal clear water in a the sandy Ta Note bay. Tory, Andy and Big Steve head down into the depths on the sea (well, actually only 6 metres). Steve embaressingly had emmense trouble breathing to start with, when he managed to breath in 3 times in a row, and then wonder why he felt like he was elploding. Luckily, in the knick of time, it dawned on him to breath OUT. A close shave for the Great Bellmondo.

Steve found the ocean world unreal. It was unlike anything he had ever imagined. He could have stayed down there for weeks. Fish of all shapes and sizes, sporting all the colours of the rainbow would swim all around, in and out of the masses of brightly coloured coral. Steve even managed to stroke the odd angel fish, whilst keeping a keen eye out for any sharks. Tory had trouble with her ears, so surfaced for a while. In the meantime, the rogue Andy decided that he would screw everything he has learnt about first time, unqualified divers and would take me down to 11 metres. Steve couldnt believe his luck, it just got better and better. He caught a glimpse at the massive Jenkins Ray hiding under a rather large rock. He performed an controversial upside down manouver to spot a queer shark looking creature called a cleaner fish running up and down the boat cleaning. Steve was later informed that this is the fish that follow the emmense Whale Shark around keeping it bacteria free.

If only he had 2 more days, Steve would have taken his PADI qualification. This was a measure of how amazing he found it all. I just 3 days, he would have been able to deep dive and swim with the black tippped sharks, the whale sharks, reef sharks etc etc. A thought that filled Steve with awe and exhiliration.

Once the day was over, Steve felt alive. He was sad to leave the island, but vowed to return. The following morning, he headed off the island in the direction of Bangkok, via the quaint little town of Chumpon, home of some of the nicest and most 'Thai' people Steve and Tory have met. Steve will be home soon. Just 1 day left for the brave adventurer, and all round nice guy. He expects plenty of presents upon arrival at Heathrow. Failure to receive said presents, would result in his depression and immediate drug addiction and refusal to provide grand kids for his parents.

Steve is happy.

***********
For the slow: this post has been written in 3rd person, and the Steve in question is me. I.e. Stephen Bellamy of England. My sincere apologies for any confusion caused.

~thailand/khao_sok/jungle_dream/to/island_dream

2004-09-12T22:07:00.000-07:00

So the following three days, Tory and I spent swimming in rivers, getting bitten by fish (although i secretly think there were just leaves, Tory gets angry when i say so), losing sandals in the strong current (Tory), riding elephants, swimming in 5metre deep deserted waterfalls, reading in hammoks in trees, meeting a cool group of girls on a jungle tour, feeding the monkeys with bananas (by throwing them accross the river to them. All the girls managed to throw all their bananas impressively into the river, not even making it halfway accross, whilst the poor hungry monkeys just looked on in disgust) and best of all on the last night there we went on a night safari. That is, going for a 'walk' in the jungle at night.

Now, after the incident in the tree house on the first night, this may have been unwise, but we enjoyed it nevertheless. It was good fun, although we couldnt see much (being night time and all). We did get glimpses at mini sloth type creatures, giant moths, beetles, dogs, weird birds that didnt move (actually looked as if they were stuffed and mounted), huge fist sized spiders, tree frogs, cockroaches, toads, crickets and deer. Although i say we 'saw' deer, what we actually saw was two eyes in the distance moving as we shone to torch at it. Could have been anything! Maybe the tour guide's mate just messing around. Exhausted as we were after 3 hours of trekking, we were glad we did it, you get a great feel for how the jungle works, the different noises, the movements, smells, everything.

Grudgingly, we left the jungle in search of an island. We desperately wanted to go diving at least once before my holiday ran out. We settled on Koh Tao, THE premiere diving resort in all of Asia. We are here now, on another beautiful beach. Words cannot explain. We have a dive booked for this afternoon, so i must dash. Cannot wait! Although i have been assured that i wont see a Whale Shark, i know there are some in the area, and i'll keep my eyes peeled just in case! These things are incredible, the size of a house and about as dangerous as one!

Head off to Bangkok tomorrow morn where i will say farewell to Tory after a memorable few days together. So glad she joined me, we have had a great time together. Good luck to her in the north, as long as she remembers to offer half the price of anything that is being sold to her, she'll be fine. Have fun Tory, i know you will!

~thailand/khao_sok/drama/first_night

2004-09-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

First night in the tree house was one to forget. Wow! Let me explain, but bear in mind i have told this story many times, and it never sounds quite as dramatic or scarey as it actually was.

Tory and I shared a large double bed, covered all over in a large mosquito net. Although it wasnt the mosquitos that i was worried about, it was the many creepy crawly things that hide everywhere and jump out when you're least expecting it. So we're lying there after an exhausting day's travel, maybe 2 or 3 in the morning. We were both on edge a little because the place was so dark, and we couldnt see enough at night in the tree house to do a full spider check. Tory is scared of spiders, and i am scared of anything that can move faster than me. We both were amazed before sleeping at how dark it was in the jungle. It sounds silly coz, at night everywhere is dark, but the jungle really was dark. Your eyes didnt adjust to any light, you couldnt see a thing, i have never experienced anything like it.

Also, the jungle is so loud. At night, the insects have a party, and go crazy. Noises all around. Big thuds near by, and banging on the door and roof are the scariest of all, makes you jump and gets your heart racing, especially as our tree house had big holes for windows, and our bathroom was in the corner and was open to the jungle with a huge skylight. Bottom line is, we felt very exposed and vulnerable in the house, particularly as we knew there were monkeys, gibbons, tigers, elephants etc etc all in the area.

Ok, so we are half asleep at about 3am ish, and all of a sudden there is this emmensely loud, blood curdling, spine chilling, heart stopping crash of glass. Bearing in mind we are no where near civilization, the nearest other bungalow is no where close. I can confidently say i have never been so scared in all my life. Tory jumped out of her skin, i panicked, but tried my best to calm Tory down, which was not easy. The crash came from the bathroom (about 1 metre away from the bed). I didnt let on to Tory just how scared i was untill the morning. The crashing of glass (bear in mind, there was NO glass in the tree house!!) lasted a few seconds, and then there was silence. Tory and I, too scared to move, held each other's hands and struggled to control our breathing for the next hour.

In the hour that i lay there without speaking, my mind went crazy with possibly explanations for the noise. Sometimes having a wild imagination is a very bad thing. My initial thought, and logical it seems, was that were were under attack by demonic monkeys (anyone who has seen Congo will know the ones i mean) throwing glass at out house. My second thought, and equally viable, was that it was aliens. Obviously. My third thought, and Tory's first was that someone was on our balcony trying to get in and attack us. My fourth thought was that we had been attacked by a huge gibbon, and that he was now inside our house and hanging in the rafters in the ceiling staring at us calculating his next move of attack into check mate. My fifth thought.... and so on. My mind was going crazy, and everytime is thought of something scarey, my heart was almost audible through my chest. The only was to calm myself down was to repeat over and over again "O God guide me, protect me..."

Tory meanwhile, was lying still, terrified, but comforted by the false assumption that i was not scared. If only she knew. well, 3 hours later, we were still awake, and i somehow had come to the conclusion that we must have had a soap dish in the bathroom (seemed unlikely tho), and a large, unimaginable insect had clumsily knocked it off the shelf and it smashed. Can you imagine my delight when i woke up to find a ceramic soap dish in pieces on the floor?? Phew!! what a night, not to mention the fact that we were forced to get up in the middle of it to use the bathroom. Turning the torch on was an ordeal and a half, as i was certain that as soon as there was light, we would see the demonic gibbon on the ceiling with white eyes ready to kill. Great experience, and needlesstosay, we survived it.

~thailand/khao_sok/jungle_boogie

2004-09-12T21:09:00.000-07:00

Khao Sok. Khao Sok. What a place. What a wonderful, magical place. I dont think words can describe how much i enjoyed Khao Sok, but i will try. (Justin, Jason - this blog is dedicated to you)

In brief, Khao Sok is a jungle. A hugemongous, big-ass jungle. We travelled there by ferry, then a couple of buses and finally arrived in the jungle about 5 days ago. We had heard from Aloy and Martine that a guesthouse called the Art's Riverview Guesthouse is THE place to stay.

We were dropped off at by the bus outside a guesthouse called Jungle Hut's, where we were greeted by a, what can only be described at horizontally challenged, thai chap who tried his best to get everyone to stay at his place. When we insisted we wanted to stay at Art's Riverview, he started saying evil lies like "its miles away", "road is very bad", "very expensive", "mine better", "no taxi will go there", "my truck cannot go on the roads", "its 2.5km away!".... all of which was lies. As soon as i started talking the language of money, his truck all of a sudden, miraculously could handle the roads well. 2.5km turned out to be 500metres, and the roads were fine!

So glad we kept our resolve. Art's Riverview has to be the best guesthouse in the world ever. Apart from the river running through it, the restaurant built out of wood and bamboo and muli levelled and built on stilts, the people being some of the most fun and genuinely friendly Thai's we have met, it was the best accomodation i've stayed in.

(!superlative overuse alert!)

For starters, we stayed in a cute wooden bungalow........... in a tree!!! That's right, it was a freakin' tree house! Can you believe it? We arrived late at night, so we couldnt see the place. We had only dim torches. We had to walk in the jungle to get to it (insects crawling everwhere), cross our very own, and very unstable under my gargantuan weight, bridge, up a series of ladders, and into our tree house 30 ft off the ground.

It wasnt til the morning that we realised how spectacular the place looked. There were rivers all around and under the house, trees everywhere, we really where in a tree. I really could have stayed there for weeks, swinging in a hammock high up in the trees. It didnt rain once the whole 3 days we were there, and we both fell in love with the jungle. I hope the photos do it justice.

~thailand/koh_pha_ngan/water_dribbles

2004-09-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

well... where do i start?? I suppose i should start where i left off. But first an apology for my ruthless neglect of this blog. (not many internet cafes in the jungle!)

So Koh Pha Ngan is stunning. Recommend all to go there while it is relatively undeveloped and paradisical. You know all those postcards that show palm trees, deserted white sand beaches and sunsets to die for.... well that is exactly what this place is like. Although at times a picture just cannot do it justice. I would have happily stayed on Koh Pha Ngan for the rest of yholiday. Although, having said that, i could say the same about every place i have stayed. Just so much to see and do in South East Asia.

After Tory arrived, we spent a few days exploring the island by motorbike on the unbelievably bad roads (huge elephant sized holes everywhere). We checked out two waterfalls. The first looked rather unimpressive. It hadnt rained for 4 days, so it consisted of a trickle of water meandering its way down some big rocks. No better a flow, and slightly less awe inspiring, than if you had turned on the tap in the sink at home. In fact, there was a suspicious looking blue pipe, poorly hidden under the dirt, which ran from the bottom of the water fall to the top. Hmmmmm... call it women's intuition, but i sensed something was not right. There was no one there, and we were scared because upon arrival there looked like there could have been an entrance fee aswell. But luckily the only person around was a very old chap, reading a paper in the 38 degree heat, waiting for death.

The next water fall was equally spectacular, but did allow us to climb up it in bare feet. It was quite steep and probably more dangerous that we made it look, judging by the two-left-footed german couple who thought it was a good idea to follow us up, and instead slipped and fell constantly. Tory and i should possibly have helped, but instead we just laughed. Are we bad people? At the top of the fall, we bathed our feet in the remarkably cool and crystal clear water. We gazed out accross the palm tree lined hills, and into the ocean in the distance. Dreamy.

After meeting up with Aloy and Martine (many many times on the island by chance), and hearing of their tales of the jungle in Khao Sok, we decided we would leave Koh Pha Ngan (i had been there for 8 days already) and head for the park.

Interesting point about the Thai men on Koh Pha Ngan. I stayed in a lovely bungalow resort on the beach, ran by a group of young, friendly, good-looking Thai men. Great fun, but couldnt cook to save their lives, but could manage a banana shake when the need arised. In 4 days that i was there alone, they hardly said a word to me. I sat in the bamboo restaurant day after day reading and watching the sea etc etc, and i got no attention. The second Tory arrived, the very second!, they were all over us. Suddenly they wanted to talk to me... Again, women's intuition, but i suspect they were not talking to me for the interesting, riveting and sometimes comical conversation, they were more interested in Tory.

~thailand/koh_pha_ngan/pleasure

2004-09-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

My sincere apologies for the distinct lack of bloggage in recent times, but i am sure you would understand if you were on this island and could see what i can see. It is breath-takingly beautiful. I am more relaxed now than i can remember. Banana shakes on the beach, thai massages watching the sun set over the sea, hammock dwelling with head in my favourite book, frisbee on the sand.... what can i say?

Met up with Tory. Great to see her! Also in the same day, a certain Miss Blyth wanders up the beach to greet me. What a day. Although i find out the only reason she spotted me on the beach was because of my "swivelly hips" when i walk. Charming!

Spent yesterday kayaking around the island (exhilirating), snorkelling in the reefs (jaw-dropping) and getting thoroughly burnt by the sun lying on deserted beaches in the north. Great day. Tonight we are attempting to stay awake long enough for the all night "Half Moon Party". Not quite as good as the "Full Moon Party", but should still be mad. Will inform you all about it at some point in the future.

Hope all are well. Great to hear all the comments. Cannot believe the news about the Mad Woman in West Haddon, and a special hello to the Ozzie-Persian Mafia (Justin & Jason) and family. Might be heading for the jungle again soon to live in a tree house, so i'll tell you all about it in grim detail!n Til then...

~thailand/koh_pha_ngan/rocking

2004-09-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

Knackered from previous post - phew! Keep this one short.

Arrived at Koh Samui, beautiful airport - series of bamboo huts for departure lounge, check in, arrivals... just great! Didnt stay long (about 1 hour actually) as Koh Samui is apparently more touristly that is neighbour Koh Pha Ngan. So i hopped straight on a speed boat for Koh Pha Ngan, where i am now, staying on a beach called Haad Yao, if only you could see the photos! Breath takingly beautiful, and surprisingly quiet, hardly anyone around, esp in the mornings.
I have an lovely air conditioned bungalow ON the beach costing me 7 pounds a night, and i have spent that past 2 days lying on the white sand, swimming in the crystal clear warm waters, reading my countless books, tasting the local cuisines, getting Thai massage (note, not oil massage) on the beach, lying in hammocks listening to the ocean..... oh and watching people beat the crap out each other at the weekly Muay Thai Boxing night!!!

What an evening it was last night. Just incredible. 7 fights, 5 knockouts. These guys are just incredible, so quick so hard! Atmosphere was buzzing. If there is one thing you must do in Thailand, it must be this. Highlight of the evening was when a very small Thai dude took on a massive, and i mean Sumo sized opponent. The fat guy's fighting style was to run at his opponent with momentum on the ropes could stop, arms out and give huge bear hugs hoping (it seems) to squeeze the energy out of the other fighter. Fat man lost, obviously. But he did wow the crouwd with he celebratory Roly Poly, and a demonstration of how he cannot do press ups because his belly extends out further than his arms can reach... oh we laughed!

Then the rain came down, tropical storm styleeee. So so hard, scarey almost. I had to ride back on my motorbike. I decided it was far too dangerous. I didnt even know the roads, and it was 20 km away! So i convinced a taxi guy to put my bike on the back of his trailer and drive me home. But he asked for a ridiculous amount of money to do it, so i just decided to ride back. All the locals seemed to be ok(ish) at it. It was an adventure, let me tell you. During an electric storm, the crickets go insane! I couldnt hear my engine over the sound of the insects, deafening. The rain beat down so hard, and i spent the whole journey in 2nd gear. 2am by the way. Inevitably, i went the wrong way. Long story short, drove 20km in the wrong direction, got drenched, feared i would have to sleep on the road, but got home safely after a quick prayer! Phew!

Huge news also: Got an e-mail from Tory (good friend from uni), and she expressed a desire to join me in Thailand seeing as i was alone, and she wanted a break. I said sure thing (thinking it was a good idea, but a little far fetched and impractical seeing as my holiday ended in 10 days), but then 2 e-mails later, and she has her flight booked. She will be here with me in 3 days! Woah! Crazzzzzy! I hadnt told Sara even... there was no time, it all happened rather fast. Sara, i hope you dont mind. Sorry i didnt warn you sooner, i only found out today it was actually happening. When are you arriving? Are you arriving? Where do you want to go? As mentioned in am in Haad Yao on Koh Pha Ngan, come soon while the beaches are fresh! Cant wait til Tory arrives on Sunday hopefully, havent seen her for a while. Havent thought beyond then, other than i extended my holiday til 16th to match Tory. Will be back in London 16th Sept in the evening. Crazy days.. living the dream!

[Family, e-mail me if there are any problems with my return date.]

~thailand/bangkok/craziness

2004-09-02T04:57:00.000-07:00

Left Chaing Mai, with a tearful farewell, for Bangkok on the overnight train that took 15 hours. Man it sucked! I did have my own bed, but it was so hot and sticky that sleep was rarely undertaken whilst writhing about screaming "why am i here???!!" was much more common.

The stupidest thing about the train journey was the stupid Thai people (talking specifically about those on the train and not the race of Thai people in general mind you) walking up and down the train constantly with a bucket full of stupid drinks trying to hard sell them for an extortionate an unregulated amount of money. They must have walked up and down the train every 5 minutes for 15 hours. Tell me, if i didnt want a drink the last 459 times, why on earth would i want one now???!!! ARGH!

Otherwise a thoroughly pleasant journey.

Arrived in Bangkok to see instead of a city of civilised people, a mad rush of Thai's running around for no reason (i know this because i asked each and every one of them) breathing and sometimes giving out harmful gasses and generally looking anonymous. Checked into a hotel thinking i could stay here for a couple of days and "explore" Bangkok, but after a couple of hours i quickly realised that i could not stay in this place for a moment longer. I would have left that day had i not already paid for a hotel, and dammit because i did i was determined to sit in and watch their crappy tv and use their air conditioning whose temperature dial was 15 feet in the air! Why? Why put it there?
So as soon as i checked in, showered and dressed, i headed out on the town. I wanted to walk everywhere because the tuk tuk drivers were far to enterprising for my liking and asking too much money from a poor student like me. I had a map, and decided to walk to Khao San Rd, which i had heard so many good things about. So i walked, and i walked. Then walked some more. Checked the map and realised i had only gone 2centimetres! I couldnt believe it, i was a whole 10 cms away from my intended destination. So i thought i would get a ferry to Khao San Rd - "GENIUS" i thought. But i waited and waited for the ferry, and the only ones that came were going in the wrong direction! Do ferries drive on the left in Thailand?

So i leave the ferry in search of food, or at least a place that looking clean and semi inviting to rest my poor legs (by now i had walked for 3 hours in pollution, terrible heat, and without any food or drink since yesterday). 2 minutes from the ferry i meet this pleasant fellow called Jo (or something). Actually no, i'll call him The Accused for the rest of this story.

The Accused stops me and informs me that there is fireworks display tonight and that i must not miss it. I was like, cool - i like colourful things that go bang. So i thanked him for informing me, and i moved on. The Accused stopped me and told me he was a tourist as well (instantly making me feel more at ease with him, now knowing he wasnt trying to sell me something - haha, i was so foolish), and was from singapore and was a history teacher by day. He was a jolly fellow and had a funny voice, so i stayed and humoured his rantings. After a short while he tells me (in a very convoluted way, where he would ask me questions, and i would have to guess what he was thinking!) that the ONLY suit maker in the whole of Thailand, the very one that exports all of its cashmere suits to all of the world, was having a half price sale which only happens 7 days a year, and has been all over BBC and CNN, and it is in its last hour! And i had to, absolutely must get into a tuk tuk right now and go there and buy as many suits as i could handle.

Well, i played along for a bit saying "that sounds incredible", and things like "a few suits at discount price would be lovely", but after 30 minutes of The Accused's ramblings, and after politely refusing to take a tuk tuk he had waved down, i said i must leave, and that i would drop by the shop later after i had some food. Well, this is when it turned ugly. He suddenly got very aggressive, acting as though because i didnt go immediately, i was somehow personally insulting him. He starting calling my stupid and foolish and a "buffallo, no head". I couldnt believe, and i started doubting whether this guy was for real, and was actually trying to con me. I got mad! I said to him, i did "you are a very rude man" (seriously, i did), and left. Several more shouts of abuse came from The Accused before i turned the corner never to see him again. I was amazed that this guy could have been fake, so just to assure myself that he was scamming me, i decide to walk to this place he pointed out on the map, only to find it didnt even exist! And that nothing of the sort was ever reported on CNN or BBC....

It is incredible how far people will go to fool a tourist. I am so curious as to where that tuk tuk would have taken me, and also what The Accused would have got out of it... Needlesstosay, there were no fireworks either that night. I was so sad.

So, after my episode with The Accused, i try and find some food. Instead i only find dark seedy looking joints selling dirty bits of meat, looking unhygenic and burnt beyond recognition, so i bite the bullet and head for the McDonalds sign. Only to find there was no McDonalds there..., so strange! I decided i hated Bangkok, and didnt even make it to Khao San Rd. Had i done so, i might have had a change of heart, but we shall never know now. I hopped on the first plane to Koh Samui in the morning for some much needed fresh air, sun, sea and the occasional thunderstorm...

Big news to come, stay tuned....

~somewhere/island/beach

2004-09-01T04:10:00.000-07:00

My beautiful readers.

I am on an a beach.

On an island.

Somewhere.

Nowhere.

More details later.

If i think you deserve it.

<insert smiley face here>

~thailang/chiang_mai/moving_on

2004-08-30T02:12:00.000-07:00

Leaving Chaing Mai tonight on the night traing to Bangkok. I have an air conditioned cabin, with a bed and a hostess service on a 15 hour train journey all for 7 pounds! Gotta love Thailand!

I was hoping to meet Sara in BKK and head south, but i have just found out from her blog she will not be there, instead she has gone to Cambodia today. Nevermind. I have been having a great time alone, i'm sure i'll find plenty to do. I will probably head south, stopping at a cool kayaking camp, and then down to the beaches. I have some friends down there, so i will probably meet them for a day or so.

Plus i went a bit crazy in a book shop here, and bought 6 books (so cheap!), so i have plenty of reading to do!

~thailand/chaing_mai/cooking

2004-08-30T02:10:00.000-07:00

As our trekking group bonded so well, we all decided we would attend the Chilli Club Cooking Academy the following day. This is a one day couse that teaches you Thai cooking. I assure you it's true, i actually paid money to cook! Dont get any ideas though Beachy, i will not be cooking for you in Bath!

Cooking was great, and surpisingly tiring. Spent 9 hours, planning our menu, buying ingredients from the market, and cooking them under the guidance of Mr Visuut, the cooking teacher. I tell ya, i would have paid just to watch Mr Visuut. He was incredible! He looks like an skinny asian Lloyd Grossman (or Inder Manocha, for those that know him), and sounds just like Stephen Hawking! No kiddin'! He was so entertaining, every sentence was an adventure. I can do a great impression. Ask me to do it when you see me...

I made hot and sour chicked soup (beautiful), yellow curry and rice (delicious), sweet and sour chicken (lovely), papaya salad (chilli!), spring rolls (perfect) and coconut sticky rice, pinapple and banana (mouth watering). I even managed to make a rose out of a tomato, impressive! I have photos to prove it. Happy days!

In the evening, i got myself a full body oil massage, costing me 3 quid for 1 hour. This was very relaxing, although rather more intimate than i had been expecting. It basically consisted of me lying there in my boxers (which were pulled up very high by the young beautiful thai masseusse to look like a thong!), while she rubbed oil all over me, sometimes putting her hands places where they probably shouldnt have been. I'm sure it is just standard procedure for a full body massage, but it does strike me as odd that in a country where public displays of affection is completely absent and conservative dress is a must, part of people's daily routine involves a sensual and highly intimate massage with someone of the opposite sex. Interesting. Needlesstosay, many hours of discussion resulted that evening, where we all shared our massage experiences. Great fun.

I find out this morning that in some massage parlours (there are millions), a "full body massage" means the masseusse gets naked and uses her 'full body' to massage you! This place is sex mad!

~thailand/chiang_mai/trekking

2004-08-30T01:10:00.000-07:00

As announced in a previous post, i spent 3 days on trekking through the jungle north of Chiang Mai. The trek was great fun, for many reasons. Firstly, there were 8 of us trekking (incl. me) plus our guide, and everyone was young, fit, adventurous and generally 'a bit of a laugh'. I wont bore you with the details of their characters, but here are there names with a short summary in brackets: Barbara (teacher, smokes), Charlie (wood engineer, not a carpenter. Smokes), Aloy (Buyer, big, happy), Martine (researcher, also big, slightly less happy), Mathew (writer, funny, creative), Lidya (doctor, beautiful), Arne (doctor, not beautiful, deceptively hard name to pronounce), Bon (guide, short, terrible jokes) and Me (perfect).

Day 1 of the trek started with a couple hours of trekking through the jungle and rice fields, avoiding massive insects, leeches and innocent looking branches and twigs on the ground which kept jumping up and me all day cutting me in the feet and legs. Stupid branches. The days highlight came when we arrived at the elephant camp. It was a small village of a hill tribe called Karin, who used elephants for building, lifting and dragging stuff. They also are used to carry the odd tourist around. The elephants were amazing!! Not like in the stupid zoo, where they are behind bars and there is a sign saying "Do not feed the elephants". These elephants just wandered around the village... they were HUGE! Think of the biggest thing you can think of, and then add 1 onto it..... the elephents were bigger than that! Incredible. Although pretty scared at first, i soon realised they were gentle giants and would do no harm. Especially as i was armed with a hand full of corn on the cob. Feeding the baby was the most entertaining. It just kept running around getting excited by the food (sounds like me).

So we got a ride on the 'phants for a couple of hours. I had the biggest elephant, which would like to stop every other stride and sample the vegetation on the side of the path, and would also fart excessively when walking up hill. I soon worked out that to keep the elephant focussed, i have to make a rather loud grunting sound, which everyone else found amusing. Esp. the Karin people. It worked though, mostly. And when it didnt, i would give the 'phant a kick to the side of the head, and then it would start moving again. I also managed to ride on the elephants neck i.e. with my legs tucked behind its ears. It was great! It might sound cruel, but i was assured the elephants hardly feel it, and considering the locals sit on their heads with their feet resting on the trunk, i didnt feel so bad. They seemed happy... At least they werent used for tourists every day like some villages, these elephants are only used once month or so. Win win!

The day ended with a camp fire, an evening being entertained by the village people (not the Village People, thank God), and some great, although spicy, local Thai nosh.

Day 2 cosisted of a shed load of trekking. Up and down some rather large hills. The hills were humorously graded according to difficultly by Bon as "Baby hills, Mummy hills and Daddy hills". The first hill was a baby hill. I though he was joking, it went on for ages, and was so steep! We were all shattered at the top of it, even the locals had to stop half way for a break. It was incredible, after another few baby hills, a few mummy hills (which nearly killed us all) and thankfully no daddy hill, we arrived at the rafting camp. We spent the evening swimming in the fresh water river, singing songs around a fire, eating beautiful Thai food again, and generally trying to aviod getting bitten by moving things on the floor (there are so many creepy crawly things). Thank God for my sleeping bag being able to fasten all the way to the top!

Day 3 was rafting day. The villages built bamboo rafts for us 5 people on each, and we set off rafting down the river for a couple of hours. It was so mcuh fun, esp. as the thing was barely floating with 5 huge europeans standing on it. The river was low, so in the white water bits, there were plenty of huge rocks showing their teeth, trying to take a piece of the raft (and often succeeding). With me steering on front with a big pieve of bamboo, and Aloy on back, we managed on 3 full speed head on collisions with rocks, only 3 people fell into the water, a mere 2 people fell THROUGH the raft, and only managed to destroy the right hand side of the raft. Pretty good going i'd say.

The finised off with a very cool swim in a massive waterfall. Getting massaged by the powerful current, and poor Mathew almost dying by tring to swim into the really fast, man eating bit!
What a great 3 days. It was laugh a minute, and the jungle was beautiful. Managed to see hundreds of species of spiders, mosquitos, beetles, cockroaches, snakes, monkeys etc etc. Just a great experience.

~thailand/chiang_mai/bruises/boxing

2004-08-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

Had my first 4 hour session of Thai boxing today - man i am so tired!! We started the session with a casual 3k run.... in 35 degree heat, up a big hill! I managed 2k fine, but then died with the heat. I actually died, they had to call the paramedics and everything. Luckily, or unluckily, i survived to face 3 hours of pad work, skipping, sit ups, press ups, pull ups and light sparring (which, as it always does, turned 0ut to be not so light). I came away limping, but only because i was bxing bare feet, and managed somehow to cut my small toe on the mats. This, added to the large cut i sustained yesterday on the big toe of my same foot whist failed to navigate a harmless looking 6 inch step in a restaurant. I am working through each toe, one by one...

In my hotel in Udon Thani, i casually strolled into the restaurant (very posh place), where a chappy was playing live music. I had ordered my food for room service, and on my way out i thought i would be cool and give the singer a cool, James Bond style nod of approval at his rendition of Frank Sinatra classics. In doing so, i managed to trip on the stage (which in my defence, was poorly lit) and fall flat on my face in front of all the restaurant. Can you imagine me, lying there face down on the stage, like a penguin getting a sun tan, whilst all the people sniggered and smiled? I can!

The worrying thing was, i was not at all embaressed. I have no idea why. I picked myself up, completed my approving nod to the singer, and just kept on walking to the door... so glad i ordered for room service, and didnt have to sit in the restaurant after that incident. My legs are now covered in cuts and bruises.... Sara i need you and your first aid kit!!! How could you leave me in my time of need??

Spent the evening with a irish marketing manager named Sean, a australian restaurant owner named Mark, a mexican drummer named Bear and a thai play station playing dude named Tom, who didnt speak a word of english, but instead just beat us one by one at table tennis and pool all evening..... What a glorious day!

~thailand/chiang_mai/boxing

2004-08-25T01:31:00.000-07:00

Woke up mega early this morning, and after having breakfast of weetabix, bananas and washed down with a banana smoothie, i headed up to the Lanna Muay Thai boxing club (mentioned in my last post). It was pretty sweet. Lots of very big men, most of which were english for some unknown reason, walking around generally looking big and mean.

I had missed the morning session (starts at 6:30AM), so i am going now for the afternoon session. I have dont boxing before, so it shouldnt be too hard to pick up the Thai bit of it (i.e. the kicking). Although i am doubting my fitness levels, as its been a few weeks since i have done anything really strenuous.... we shall see how it goes.

Other than that today, i have been wandering round town, looking at beautiful Buddhist temples, cotching in cafes drinking smoothies and watching olympics, beating (and getting beat by) the locals at pool, and having a nice afternoon siesta.

I went to speak to a guy named Bon. He runs a 3 or 4 day trek through the jungle north of Chiang Mai. Sara went with him on a 4 day trek a few weeks back, and she raved about it so much, that i had to check it out. It sounds pretty sweet, cannot wait... Will give all the details when i get back. I set off tomorrow morning early, so no posts for a few days. I will have to resume my Boxing training when i get back... :(

Having said that, my tour guide Bon has been thai boxing for over 20 years! He says he will teach me while i am on the trek... Fabulous!

It appears there are slightly more internet cafes where i am compared to Sara, going by her distinct lack of posts on sarasia.blogspot.com. Either that, or she is just having so much fun, she has no time to stop! After all, i am still new at this 'travelling alone' thing... Doing well so far, met some cool people. A bit nervous about the boxing in 15 mins, but the trek should be great. Til next time folks...

~thailand/chiang_mai/arrivals

2004-08-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

Internet cafe is closing, so this will be quick. I took a series of very very long bus journeys, crossing the border into Thailand, and after a night in the crappy Udon Thani, i have finally arrived into Chiang Mai. This place is reputidly a very cool place. I am thoroughly looking forward to my stay here.

I have been reading, and talking to strange hippy tuk tuk drivers, who cover their tuk tuks with blue neon lights, go faster stripes and painted flames! Among many other things, i am going to start my Muay Thai boxing training tomorrow. It is $4 per day, and is run out of a very prestigious boxing school called Lanna Muay Thai boxing. See lannamuaythai.com for details. I figure that after a couple days hard training, get myself bashed and bruised, and hopefully bashing and bruising many others, i will undertake in a 4 day trek into the jungle. Involving living with untouched hill-tribal villages, rides on elephants and white water rafting (primitive style i.e. rafts are made of a row of sticks tied with rope. I'm gonna die, i'm sure of it!

I could be here for a while, its a buzzing place, rich with culture and 1 too many farangs (tourists) for my liking!. However, sickeningly cheap, i might even venture into the markets and go present hunting. But dont be surprised if i get you something that you will dispise, because i am very good at doing that... Reports from boxing class tomorrow.

Love to Sara. Hope you are getting on well without me... i cant believe i am missing hammock island! That is like my dream! :)

Funny story. Had a Laos massage in Laos (funnily enough), by this chap who we got chatting to afterwards. He spoke good english and talked to me about football. Turns out he supports manchester united, and he was soooo happy to hear that i supported them too. He was over the moon, and green with envy to hear that i had actually been to Old Trafford. And you can only imagine his face when i tell him that i was born in Machester*.... his mouth literally dropped, and i quote "that is my dream"... lovely guy. Good luck Mr Unamed Massage Guy Man!

Beachy: Tell big Dave that i met a canadian guy whose parents own the only hotel in Kicking Horse, the one Dave goes to. He was staying at my guesthouse, invited me over to Canada, but unfortunately didnt get his contact address. Small world huh?

*actually Greater Manchester. Didnt tell him that though.

~laos/vientiane/departing/sara

2004-08-24T08:41:00.000-07:00

Sara and i have had a fall out, and when i woke up in the morning i find her bags are gone, and more worryingly, she is gone. I see from her blog that she has fled to Cambodia to get away from me. I would like to say this is the first time a woman has fled the country to get away from my, but that would be a lie.

Nah, only joking. We made the decision, somehow, that we would spend a week or more apart, seeing different parts of South East Asia, and then would reunite in the south of Thailand for some long awaited beach action. She is exploring southern Laos, and then into Cambodia to see the famous Ankgor Wat temples. I on the other hand chose to explore northern Thailand, and then trickle my way down to the south, stopping at whichever town i want to, just because i can.

I am young and i am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! At least for 10 days untill Sara returns. This is the first time i have travelled alone, so it will be interesting to see how things get on. Sad to see Sara go, we were having a lot of fun, but just felt 10 days doing our own thing would be a good experience, and that we could cover twice as many destinations in the time we have. Will be fun to compare photos when we get back...

So, read on my loyal fans for life in the fast lane! WOOO HOOO, ROCK ON! I'm livin' the dream now...

(Got to say, Sara was kinda holding me back... like a wet blanket over a flame.)

(Only kidding Sara! Dont be mad! Hope you're having fun..... just slightly less fun than me)

~laos/vientiane/highlights

2004-08-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

Again my blog-loving friends, i find myself in the unfortunate position of having lots to tell, no time to tell it in, and even less energy to write it (would there have been enough time!). So my friends, i will have to give you only the highlights of the past few days.

Lets start in Vientiane, shall we? Yes? Gooooooooood. Sara and i spent two days in Vientiane, the capital of Laos (Remember now, its pronounced "Lao", not "Laos" or "Lice" and certainly not "Linkerhoffenberg"!). Sad to say, Vientiane sucks ass (and not in a good way!). It is a series of dusty streets, hugging an uncharacteristically ugly stretch of the Mekong River. The place smells of faeces at the best of times, and when you innocently order boiled eggs at midnight becuase you are hungry, you get served unhatched dead baby chicks!

Needlesstosay, Sara and I had a wonderful time in each other's company. Good job really, coz the town was providing little entertainment. Having said that, we did manage to keep ourselves busy. I shall explain:

1. On the first day we were rather entertained by the 1 hour trek accross the city, led by myself, in search of a restaurant called Xang, advertised by the Lonely Planet as a 'hip and happening' place to eat (yeah right, i'll be the judge of that!). For some reason, i left my map reading skills at home, and managed to make a series of school boy errors that landed us outside of the city boundaries. Doh! Now, if i was Sara, i would have been mildly upset by this point, esp. as it was 35 degrees and more humid than a humid place in humid season that is very very humid! But quite the opposite, she was so happy. Well.... at least that is how i choose to interpret her ignoring me, and stomping around the street yelling "STEVE!! I'm hungry!! Why did you take me here! ARGHHHH!!!"

2. We left our guesthouse, and ummed and ahhed at the prospect of going to see a display of tradiitional Laos dance at the Laos National Theatre accross the street (it sounds grand, but actually looks very similar to a very small school dinner hall). Having not done much that day, we decided it would be a good idea, and what a good idea it was! It was great fun. The audience was all of 3 people strong (sadly that astronomical number included me and Sara), but the performance was wonderful. Thoroughly enjoyed watching the beatuiful Laos ladies (and they are ALL beautiful) and beautiful Laos boys (unfortunately, the boys were also beautiful. Most of which wore full make up, long painted finger nails, and wouldnt stop staring at me all through the performance) (i loved the attention really). Highlight of the performance was at the end when the audience were asked to get on stage and 'try Laos dance', wicked! I basically just jiggled my hips, let my wrists go limp, and waved my arms around like i was guiding a plane into landing. Oh, and i kept on trying to dance with the short cute one, but every time i turned round, the tall freaky looking guy kept pulling me back! Nevermind, that was my chance at getting Laos residency over... :(

3. Went to see Buddha park. Nothing to say here really, other than it was a big park full of Buddha statues. What can i say? I could say the statues were paraded around by juggling elephants, but that would be a lie. And my mother said never tell a lie, unless insurance companies are involved. Right mum?

Among other things, that is about it for Vientiane. Read next post for sad news... genuinely.

~laos/sam_nueu/stuff

2004-08-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

Running out of puff, 6 blogs in 1 hour! So spent the past 2 days in the sleepy, but beautiful town of Sam Nueu. Hardly any tourists, and wonderful food made for a relaxing few days. We splashed out on a $5 a night guesthouse and made full use of the hot showers and cool rooms. (luxuries seldom found elsewhere in Laos).

We met another Aussie named Locky (that's how i choose to spell it). He was 'mega cool' - been riding a bike accross Cambodia, China, Laos, Vietnam, Thailand and soon Tibet... He is planning on an illegal border crossing, after reading some travellers who had done it before. He has notes about which trees are best to hide behind, what time the security guard normally sleeps, and most importantly, a list of the penalties if he gets caught! Good look Locky, let me know how you get on!

Lots of cool stuff happened in Sam Nueu, but wont go into it. Bottom line is, we are happy and having a great time. We are now in Vientiane (the capital of Laos), after another rather eventful (but perfectly safe) 18 hour bus journey! We are planning on making our way south, then into Cambodia, and then to Thailand. We may even split up for a week or so, as i am being slowly convinced that travelling alone is an experience worth doing. We shall see...

Hope all are well. Just realised these past few posts were more informative than entertaining, apologies for that. Will post again soon... A funny one, i promise. Easy now, s.

NOTE: Oh, in case you were interested. Sara' s blog can be found at http://sarasia.blogspot.com read there if you want her version of the events (they may well differ).
NOTE2: Thanks for all the comments, i read them all, but no time to reply unfortunately. Keep 'em coming, coz they keep me going.

~laos/phonsavan/falls

2004-08-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

Sara, Nic, Paul, Samantha and I spend the day doing a tour in Phonsavan. The tour consists of visiting a typical Lao village, seeing a waterfall, and seeing the Plain of Jars (will explain later).

The village and the Jars were pretty boring. No need to explain. The water falls were something special! The five of us were getting along great, laugh a minute! :) We dressed to go see a waterfall. LIttle did we know, that to get to the waterfall and back involved an intense 5 hour trek through the mountainous jungle in terrential rain! Seriously! The pics should be incredible...

The best experience yet. It rained so hard, and our guide didnt seem to know the way often, so we would occaisionally build new paths though the dense dense jungle with our hands, climbing up steep hills, battling the rain, and avoiding large bugs where possible. It was just fab, despite none of us being suitably dressed. When we reached the base of the fall, our guide informs us that the way back to the van was up the waterfall. So we literally climbed up this fast rushing waterfall for hours, it was massive, so many levels. There were times when rock climbing was necessary, careful balancing acts of slippery trees, and sturdy legs in fast flowing water... just brilliant, everyone got through safely... and between us only suffered 2 leach bites. (both on my legs!)

~laos/phonsavan/bombs

2004-08-21T20:10:00.000-07:00

A little background of Laos, if you dont already know. From 1964 to 1973, America engaged in a 'Secret War' with Laos. After signing an agreement stating that they explicitly would not get involved in 'ridding the world of evil communists' in Laos, they decide to bomb the crap out of it, whist all the time denying that they ever dropped a single bomb in Laos. (this was all during the Vietnam war. Laos borders Vietnam). The US conducted 580,344 missions over Laos dropping 2 million tonnes of bombs!!! Laos is tiny, check the map. Lao people are lovely people. They live simple lives, mainly farmers. Most live in tiny villages in huts made of bamboo and wood, and because they had a communist government, the US decide to kill everyone!

The guesthouse in Phonsavan showed a BBC documentary on Laos and the bombing called "Bombies". It is pretty horific. All around Northern laos, you can see remnants of US fighter jets, bomb shell casing, US fuel tankers... all engraved with the United States. Villagers build huts with the bomb shells, use them as bbqs for cooking, melt down the metal and make cuttlery, its crazy! But the worst thing about it all is the type of bomb that the US used. They used a newly developed 'cluster bomb', desigened for the single purpose - to kill many people over a large area. A cluster bomb consists of 500 tennis ball sized 'bombies', each containing 350 ball bearings, some gun powder and a fuse. When dropped from a plane, they scatter all over the land and explode, killing only civilians... the bigger bombs were used to destroy towns/buildings.

Tragically, 30% of the bombies did not explode, leaving millions of mines lying all over the countryside. The smallest movement sets them off. For the last 20 years, Lao people have been forced to harvest fields littered with mines, suffering deaths and limb loss on a weekly basis. Because the bombies are coloured yellow, many children die picking them up thinking they are fruit, or a ball to play with.

The saddest thing for me, is watching school children singing songs that go something like this "If we see a bombie, we must run and get help, we must never pick it up, otherwise we will die, because America bombed our country etc etc etc". Kids should not have to sit in school and sing about bombs, they should be singing about happy stuff... no?

~laos/phonsavan/lost

2004-08-21T20:08:00.002-07:00

Arrived in Phonsavan with our new Ozzy mates Nic (pro rider), Samantha and Paul (pro drinkers). We decide that this town is poo, and the sooner we get to Sam Nueu in the north, then better. So we decide to get the 6am bus the next day (Lao people do everything in the morning).

So on our way back to our guest house from the restaurant at 9:30pm, we suddenly realise we are lost. LOST! Lost in a one street town!! We were too busy chatting on our way into town than we had completely lost our bearings. We walked up and down this single street for 90mins! We kept asking locals if they knew where we were staying, but they didnt speak a work of english, and the cap it all off, we didnt even bother to catch the name of our guesthouse! So we were completely stumped...

There was a guest house called Kong Keo in the lonely planet, and for some reason we were sure, SURE, that we werent NOT staying there.... dont ask me why, but we were adament. So whenever the locals would point us to Kong Keo, we would say "No, we are not staying there, but somewhere just like it!" And would you believe it? We were indeed staying at the Kong Keo! DOH! By the time we got to the room, it was 11:30pm, and far too late to get enough sleep for the 6am bus, so we decide in a midnight conversation, whilst tucked away in bed, to stay in Phonsavan for one day, and see the sights with the Ozzies... (the best decision we has made to date)

~laos/transit/phonsavan/

2004-08-21T20:08:00.001-07:00

Ok, there is far too much that has happened in the past week to get down in this blog, so i will just do my best to get the highlights in as best as possible. So we leave the beauty of a town Luang Prabang by bus, heading for the North East of Laos. The journey was long, and would require a night spent in a crappy little town called Phonsavan (which later turned out to be not so crappy - as you will see). It started off badly when we saw the bus - this rickety old excuse for a bus! Air conditioning consisted of 4 large fans fixed to the ceiling, positioned dangerously close to our heads... luckily all the wires were loose, and none of them worked! The journey took about 10 hours, and was a bit of a nightmare. Apart from the 'sore bum syndrome', 'bus sleeping paradox' and general 'bumpage up and downage', there was a rather worrying moment towards the end of the journey. Here's the low down:

The lonely planet explains how in the north east of Laos, particulary on Route 13 there have been a series of 'bus attacks', where bandits hijack buses and essentially shoot everyone. Although very rare, this is a bit of a worry! As soon as we get on the bus, we see a man with a machine gun sitting casually in the middle of the bus. I have never really been close to a real gun before, and naturally i felt quite uneasy. But he seemed to be happy, so i soon forgot about
him and got into my book. (A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius - Thanks Keith!). So, towards the end of the journey, the bus was stopped and two men step on in military gear, carrying machine guns also. The fact that they wore military gear meant nothing, as everyone seems to wear it.

Again i started to worry, and i could see fear in the faces of all the other tourists on the bus (about 3 others from Australia we later became friends with). But nothing worried me more than when one of the guys sat next to me. He placed his gun between his legs facing the ceiling. He was quiet, and kept nudging me, kicking me, and signalling and whispering to the other machine gun man! Scarey! I dared not look at him, but was happy the gun was pointing at the ceiling.

So, curious, after about 10 minutes, i decide to take a look at the gun. To my horror, as i turn round, i see the barrel of the gun is not pointed at the ceiling at all, but instead is rested on his leg and pointed directly at my head!!!! I've never felt so worried in my life! I'm afraid to say it was 'trouser changing time' for me! If i was sure the safetly was on, and the bus was smooth, then maybe i wouldnt have said anything. But Lao people are rather careless, and the bus was
incredibly bumpy, and although unlikely, then gun could go off at anytime!! So i asked the guy to move the gun, as politely as i could, and he just laughed, and thankfully moved it.. but not before showing me the magazine full of bullets! Thanks!! Panic over, they get off at the next stop, no attacks today. :)

But seriously, there is no real need to worry. These attacks are supposed to be political by nature, and so foreigners are never targetted. The attacks also only happen on buses, and since then we have been travelling on Route 13 on coaches only. More expensive, a little more comfortable and much safer.

~laos/general/apology

2004-08-21T20:08:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I am back, after several days on the road. As Sara and i expected, you would all be freaking out (especially the mothers) about our apparent absence from the blog. We are perfectly safe, just happened to be staying in places where there was no access to internet.
Apologies for any worry caused. So much has happened, as you will read in the following few posts. Enjoy!

~laos/luang_prabang/blood

2004-08-15T03:39:00.000-07:00

Forgot to mention: On the way back from the falls, i look down at my legs and spie with my little eye, a river of blood running from my inner right thigh!!!!! A river i tellz ya!! I freaked out... we went to the hospital, and the doc said i have to get my leg amputated... i said NO! Ok ok, it was not a river, it was more like a tributory of blood, and we didnt go to the hospital, and my leg is still attached. Turned out to be a leach (of the blood sucking variety)... i must have lost about 40 pints of blood, then leach was the size of me by the time it had finished! So i said to the leach "Hey you", and he said "What", i said "you sucking my blood?", he said "Yup, what you gonna do about it?", so i got mad, and went crazy, started tearing up this joint, smashing windows, the lot! Even went to prison for a bit. So then me and leach fought to the death, and i died because i ran out of blood...

OK OK!! It was a lie, there was no leach!!!!! Alright? Just the hole where the leach was. And i put a plaster on it, and everyone was happy. :)

~laos/luang_prabang/falls/water

2004-08-15T02:37:00.000-07:00

Third day in Laos. Today we woke up at 8am! Crazy, that is actually earlier than i get up for work! And still i have not had a full night's sleep. Sara and I caught breakfast (not literally) from the old couple who own the guest house. It consisted of baguette, butter and jam. Simple, but satisfying. (Story of my life.) We also caught a tuk tuk (again not literally) to the Khaung Si waterfall, THE attraction of Luang Prabang. We wanted to arrive early, because rumour has it that by lunch time the place is overrun by tourists and locals.

We arrived after about 20minutes drive on bumpy roads in the hills on an overcast and cold day to be met by the most spectacular waterfall (or more accurately, waterfalls) i have ever seen. The thing was huge, and as it rained heavily overnight, i think it was even more spectacular than usual. As anticipated, we were pretty much the firsts people to arrive. We brought our swimming stuff hoping to take a dip in the crystal clear pools at the base of the falls, but decided it was far too cold for any of that... a few photos later, we decided to climb up the rather steep series of a make shift steps to the top of the falls. Takes a good 10 minutes, and risk of slippage, and eatage of spiderage is high. Great!

Reached to top to find a series of deeps pools enclosed in the forest. The pools were precariously perched at the top of the falls, and the current was understandably strong. One slip and we would be over the edge... there was a unconvincing excuse for a barrier in place which i was not about to trust. I guess the drop from there would be about 100 ft, maybe more. Because the pools at the top were sheltered by the trees, it felt a bit warmer, so we decided to take a plunge. Avoiding the numerous spider's webs, and little things swimming on the surface, we went in. It was great! The water was so nice... After the climb down, and many slips later (well, actually, Sara would slip, and i would catch her) we met up with other Farangs (tourists) that we knew, and then took a swim in the ragin currents at the base of the falls. It was good fun for about 10 minutes, then we decided that 'too many farangs spoil the pool', and we left.

We've just eaten lunch now, watched some olympic swimming with Lao commentry, as you do, and then the rain started to come down. It has just stopped now, but i dont suppose it'll be long before it starts again. Being monsoon season, this is quite normal, although more common in Thailand actually.

Tomorrow morning we are planning on seeing some temples, watching monks pick fruit, and taking a bus outta this town and head north east to the Hua Phan province. The Lonely Planet (nicknamed by Sara 'The Lying Planet' because she is convinced that it tells lies!) tells us there is lots of magical stuff to see there, i'll save the details for when i get there, but i will tell you there is a snake pit somewhere where they throw live animals and dead people! Sweet, Indiana Jones styleeeee! Til' next time folks....

~laos/luang_prabang/sore/bum

2004-08-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, second day in Laos. (pronounced "Lao" btw, the French named it incorrectly when they nationalised it way back). (and definately not pronounced "Lice", mum!). Last night at our guesthouse was not great. There was a power cut in the middle of the night, and our ceiling fans turned off, which is bad news in this heat. Also meant that there was only cold water for the shower. We were woken up, not only by the heat, but by the silversmith directly under our hotel at 6am. From 6am for hours there was constant banging of something hard against something else hard! Not just one set of banging, but 3 completely independant sets of banging, all different pitches! The result was something resembling a very amateur production of Stomp...

So we decided that our $7 (or 4 hundred million billion Laos Kip) a night each was not well spent, so we found another place for $1 a night each! Bargain! Although much lower standard, it is overlooking the Mekong river, and we get free bananas as part of the service! Rock on! Living the dream! :)

Sara and I also rented out bicycles today for $1 each. We were sick of the foreigners, lovely as they are, and most seemingly from Israel (???), we rode off out of Luang Prabang for as far as our legs could take us. In the heat, we sweated more than a fat, hairy Persian exercising in the sun!! Oh wait, that is me!! Haha.... Sara somehow managed to get the good bike, i.e. the one that had a seat that didnt bruise your sensitive bits, pedals that were bent at an angle, and handles that didnt dig into your hands!

We had dinner with a family who were selling noddles on the side of the road out of the main town area. We had second servings, and Sara bravely tried the desert, and all coming to a total cost of about 30 pence! Again, living the dream!

Lao people are so lovely and hospitable, not only because they want your money, but because they are just nice people. Everyone says hello to you as you pass...... normally followed by the words "suki suki, fie dolla", but still, they are lovely!
(from a South Park episode, sorry)

So now we are "blogging", which seems to be an integral part of our days. When Sara utters the words "Steve. We need to blog", i know it is my job to get her to an internet terminal quick or smoke starts coming out of her ears and people die! Only kidding, we are having a great time...

Tomorrows plan: to get up early, get a tuk tuk to the waterfalls, and swim and bathe until our fingers go all wrinkly... cannot wait! (Taking tonnes of photos, onto my second film already. Wish i could upload them, but i guess you'll have to wait til i get back to see them all). As saturday draws to a close, this is Mr Bellamy, signing out. Ciao!

~laos/luang_prabang/arrivals/sara

2004-08-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

Sara is here! I met her yesterday. She was arriving by ferry, which when it arrived turned out to be nothing more than a glorified canoe with about 50 tourists crammed into it. She had been traveling on that thing for 2 days, crazy! She vows never to do it again though... dont blame her.

So i waited at the port in the immense heat and humidity for about 2 hours for her to arrive. I was so relieved to see her, i had spent the whole day on my own in Laos, and wasnt completely sure she would turn up. We hadnt really arranged a meeting point or time, so i just guessed when and where she would be arriving. (I'm a badass invincible rendezvous guessing mo fo!)

Anyway, so the yesterday was spent organising hotels and stuff, trying not to sweat profusely all the time, dodging cockroaches and contributing to the local economy by purchasing one of everything on the night markets... which suffered a power cut and was candle lit! Fantastic!

It is so so hot here, and 100% humidity, which makes putting your socks on an arduous task! But our guesthouse last night was overlooking the Mekong river, which is (like everything else in Laos) stunning. All the locals drive around in Tuk Tuks and motorbikes. You even find very small children operating motorcycles, it seems it is the only cool way to travel. Only a few have cars.

The town of Luang Prabang (where i am staying) is littered with Buddhist temples. It seems every corner has one, and not a minute goes by without you seeing a gaggle of monks walking in bright orange robes and matching orange shoulder bags and matching orange umbrellas to keep off the heat.

Sara and I have been discussing what our plans are, and we are not completely decided at all, but we do share a common gripe about Luang Prabang. That is there are too many bl**dy foreigners! There are only about 50 in the whole town, but the town is so small that you bump into people you know all the time. So we are planning to get out of the town and into the countryside.. possibly to see some temples, Buddhist caves, take a boat on the river or go swimming in one of the many spectacular waterfalls nearby. Time shall only tell how we spend the next few days...

~thailand/bangkok/no_mates/

2004-08-13T01:38:00.000-07:00

So i arrived in Bangkok all by myself, after many failed attempts to try and make english speaking contacts on the plane. I was met at the airport by someone who got me a taxi and a very nice hotel for the night. Although cheap, i'm sure they added a few Baht extra to the price. I was in no mood to haggle though, i slept about 2 hours in the last 36 hours.. i just wanted food and sleep (no change there!).
Initial impressions on Bangkok were that it was busy! Tonnes of motorbike taxis, tuk tuks and cars... And the streets are covered with dogs! All lying on their backs drained with the heat and himidity. They look like they are dead, but every so often they blink at me as if saying "kill me now". Well, at least that's how i interpretted it!

Some people spoke broken english, so communication wasnt so bad. When i got to my air conditioned hotel, i decided in my only night in Bangkok (before my flight to Laos the next day), i would not spend it sleeping, i would at least try and make contact with some Thais. So i went out to the local food market (now 9pm), and endeavoured to get myself some grub. Everyone stared at me, as i was dressed in white, and about 2 feet taller than anyone else, but people were ver friendly. I was feeling quite intimidated at first, being alone, but then as soon as i bit the bullet and asked for some food, i felt much better. I casually pointed to a pile of food at a market stall and uttered the words "give me noodles and stuff". To my delight, they understood, and cooked me a wonderful noodle thingy. I made the mistake of asking it for take away, coz they them proceeded to put all the different foods into bags and tied them up like fish from the fish shop. Got back to the hotel and realised i had no cuttlery, so somehow managed to scoop all the piping hot noodles and sauces into my mouth with my fingers. After washing it all down with a Blueberry Yop and watching an hour of Thai Fame Academy on tv, i went to bed.

Got a phone call in the night from my good friend Tory, which was nice. Chatted for a bit, half asleep, and then went back to bed. Probably cost me a fortune to recieve the call, but at 2am, i wasnt thinking straight!

The following day, i left for Laos. Caught the flight fine. Flew with Bangkok airways, and it was slightly less luxurious than Emirates. The plane had propellers for starters... but smooth flight none the less. I am in Laos now, waiting for my dear friend Sara to join me. She should be arriving by ferry in a few minutes. I should go now. Just a quick word about Laos, it is beautiful!! Never seen so much nature in one place, palm trees everywhere, rivers, mountains... just fantastic. This is 1million times better than Bangkok... i will save the details for my next post. I will go meet sara now...

~transit/emirates/

2004-08-13T01:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, my first real post.

I left london on 11th August 2004 from Heathrow. Flew a long long way via Dubai to Bangkok. I flew with Emirates. Just a quick note about them: They were close to the cheapest airline i could find, and yet they are without a doubt the most luxurious and hospitable airlines i have ever flown in! Yes, better then BA! I was in economy on a 747, and i had a personal TV/Radio, tonnes of leg room, and even a games machine. I wanted to sleep, but kept playing all the addictive games. I ended up spening hours playing this trivia game. You play against all the other passengers realtime. There is a leader board, and you get 20 quick fire Trivial Pursuit type questions.
It was great, you can see the other competitors seat numbers, and stuff. You can stand up and see who are the stupid ones and who are the brain boxes... well i was determined to win on of the rounds... and it took me many tries, but just as we were landing into Bangkok, i answered 15 correct answers out of 20 in record time to come from behind and beat 20 other passengers... what a glorious moment! I would have done a lap of honour around the plane, but the hostesses had the food trolleys in the aisles :(
Nevermind, a big moment for me. The trip had got off to a winning start. Although i still had no friends, i was still a winner!

~mrbellamy/blog/caveat/

2004-08-13T01:06:00.000-07:00

Hello all.

Ok, first of all i must apologise for even having this blog in the first place. Second of all i must apologise for writing posts. Third of all i must apologise for using this blog as a way of communicating my travels to all you back home. It appears that i am a geek at heart, and if i had known i would be blogging when i was out here, i would have probably written one myself instead of using Blogger. Oh well, that's me.

News about my travels to come. Two things to note about my blogs. As i am a pretty fast typer (i.e. all my fingers are in the right position and i need not look at the keyboard when i'm stroking the keys), my posts will have the two characteristics of being a) long and b) unnecessarily wordy. With these two caveat in place, please enjoy reading the news of my travels as they unfold.

Lots of love, Steve.