~thailand/bangkok/craziness

Left Chaing Mai, with a tearful farewell, for Bangkok on the overnight train that took 15 hours. Man it sucked! I did have my own bed, but it was so hot and sticky that sleep was rarely undertaken whilst writhing about screaming "why am i here???!!" was much more common.

The stupidest thing about the train journey was the stupid Thai people (talking specifically about those on the train and not the race of Thai people in general mind you) walking up and down the train constantly with a bucket full of stupid drinks trying to hard sell them for an extortionate an unregulated amount of money. They must have walked up and down the train every 5 minutes for 15 hours. Tell me, if i didnt want a drink the last 459 times, why on earth would i want one now???!!! ARGH!

Otherwise a thoroughly pleasant journey.

Arrived in Bangkok to see instead of a city of civilised people, a mad rush of Thai's running around for no reason (i know this because i asked each and every one of them) breathing and sometimes giving out harmful gasses and generally looking anonymous. Checked into a hotel thinking i could stay here for a couple of days and "explore" Bangkok, but after a couple of hours i quickly realised that i could not stay in this place for a moment longer. I would have left that day had i not already paid for a hotel, and dammit because i did i was determined to sit in and watch their crappy tv and use their air conditioning whose temperature dial was 15 feet in the air! Why? Why put it there?
So as soon as i checked in, showered and dressed, i headed out on the town. I wanted to walk everywhere because the tuk tuk drivers were far to enterprising for my liking and asking too much money from a poor student like me. I had a map, and decided to walk to Khao San Rd, which i had heard so many good things about. So i walked, and i walked. Then walked some more. Checked the map and realised i had only gone 2centimetres! I couldnt believe it, i was a whole 10 cms away from my intended destination. So i thought i would get a ferry to Khao San Rd - "GENIUS" i thought. But i waited and waited for the ferry, and the only ones that came were going in the wrong direction! Do ferries drive on the left in Thailand?

So i leave the ferry in search of food, or at least a place that looking clean and semi inviting to rest my poor legs (by now i had walked for 3 hours in pollution, terrible heat, and without any food or drink since yesterday). 2 minutes from the ferry i meet this pleasant fellow called Jo (or something). Actually no, i'll call him The Accused for the rest of this story.

The Accused stops me and informs me that there is fireworks display tonight and that i must not miss it. I was like, cool - i like colourful things that go bang. So i thanked him for informing me, and i moved on. The Accused stopped me and told me he was a tourist as well (instantly making me feel more at ease with him, now knowing he wasnt trying to sell me something - haha, i was so foolish), and was from singapore and was a history teacher by day. He was a jolly fellow and had a funny voice, so i stayed and humoured his rantings. After a short while he tells me (in a very convoluted way, where he would ask me questions, and i would have to guess what he was thinking!) that the ONLY suit maker in the whole of Thailand, the very one that exports all of its cashmere suits to all of the world, was having a half price sale which only happens 7 days a year, and has been all over BBC and CNN, and it is in its last hour! And i had to, absolutely must get into a tuk tuk right now and go there and buy as many suits as i could handle.

Well, i played along for a bit saying "that sounds incredible", and things like "a few suits at discount price would be lovely", but after 30 minutes of The Accused's ramblings, and after politely refusing to take a tuk tuk he had waved down, i said i must leave, and that i would drop by the shop later after i had some food. Well, this is when it turned ugly. He suddenly got very aggressive, acting as though because i didnt go immediately, i was somehow personally insulting him. He starting calling my stupid and foolish and a "buffallo, no head". I couldnt believe, and i started doubting whether this guy was for real, and was actually trying to con me. I got mad! I said to him, i did "you are a very rude man" (seriously, i did), and left. Several more shouts of abuse came from The Accused before i turned the corner never to see him again. I was amazed that this guy could have been fake, so just to assure myself that he was scamming me, i decide to walk to this place he pointed out on the map, only to find it didnt even exist! And that nothing of the sort was ever reported on CNN or BBC....

It is incredible how far people will go to fool a tourist. I am so curious as to where that tuk tuk would have taken me, and also what The Accused would have got out of it... Needlesstosay, there were no fireworks either that night. I was so sad.

So, after my episode with The Accused, i try and find some food. Instead i only find dark seedy looking joints selling dirty bits of meat, looking unhygenic and burnt beyond recognition, so i bite the bullet and head for the McDonalds sign. Only to find there was no McDonalds there..., so strange! I decided i hated Bangkok, and didnt even make it to Khao San Rd. Had i done so, i might have had a change of heart, but we shall never know now. I hopped on the first plane to Koh Samui in the morning for some much needed fresh air, sun, sea and the occasional thunderstorm...

Big news to come, stay tuned....